tl;dr - cannabis is an important pillar of my life. the same is true for many millions of other people. and there is nothing to be ashamed of.
it hit me while masturbating in the shower, i’m never going to be completely sober. i need drugs to function as a member of society. and that’s alright with me.
i also know, more importantly, that there are millions of other people like me all over the planet. most of us just hide to survive.
edit:
i only smoke concentrated cannabis. sativa strains preferably.
i don’t consume any other drugs. i used to. but not anymore.
i used to regularly consume alcohol, caffeine, LSD, MDMA, shrooms, cocaine and salvia divinorum. nothing like the DMT and designer psychedelics of today.
i feel fortunate to have lived through my own experience of drug culture and walked out the other side.
I’ve been using cannabis for years and I love it. I am generally careful when it comes to developing dependencies. I check myself every once in a while and I don’t self medicate or pretend I’m taking it for pain or sleep or whatever. I take it because I like being high and I’m not ashamed of it.
I am worried about long-term effects. Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s really freak me out and it would suck if there turned out to be a link there. But there’s a good chance something else will kill me before I get there and I’m not sure I want to give up something I so thoroughly enjoy just to live a little longer.
I tried taking a hiatus in January. I read about mental clarity coming back and feeling more rested. I felt none of those things. I also didn’t feel any intense cravings or withdrawal symptoms. Just boredom and dissatisfaction with life in general and I don’t have a lot of hope of that changing with or without weed.