tl;dr - cannabis is an important pillar of my life. the same is true for many millions of other people. and there is nothing to be ashamed of.
it hit me while masturbating in the shower, i’m never going to be completely sober. i need drugs to function as a member of society. and that’s alright with me.
i also know, more importantly, that there are millions of other people like me all over the planet. most of us just hide to survive.
edit:
i only smoke concentrated cannabis. sativa strains preferably.
i don’t consume any other drugs. i used to. but not anymore.
i used to regularly consume alcohol, caffeine, LSD, MDMA, shrooms, cocaine and salvia divinorum. nothing like the DMT and designer psychedelics of today.
i feel fortunate to have lived through my own experience of drug culture and walked out the other side.
I like drugs and I’d enjoy them more if they don’t wreck havoc on your health. I had fun and all but I was at the point where I’m like it’s time to stop and just stopped. I still drink beers socially though. Might get back on them when I’m 60-70+ just because.
I have to admit being and staying sober is much easier for me if I frame it as “it’s a period in my life where I want to be sober, I choose to be sober, that doesn’t mean I have pledged to stay sober until I die”, and allowing myself the idea of a future where I will drink again feels relieving - although I realize it will most likely not happen. So your sentiment with getting back on drugs at 60-70+ resonates with me.