So there is a prevalent attitude in guys growing up and around friend groups where displays of genuine feeling are often made fun of and sincerity is considered “cringe” and this attitude often stays with guys through adulthood. This leads to avoidance of “domestic” interests, from interpersonal issues with displaying affection to people they care about, to becoming entire personas of “cool” men who don’t say much or seem detached. (But in reality just come off as aloof and with hangups.)
This is often reflected in how they live. Again, “minimalism” is not the same as just not giving a fuck. It takes giving a fuck to create a minimalism environment that is also pleasing to the eye. As a species, we do often feel happier living in a space we have personalized with our own expression of comfort and style, whatever that may be, and that takes some level of effort.
If you’re fine with sitting on a lawn-chair and having a cardboard box for a nightstand, that’s FINE. You can do that, you can be whatever you want. But you also have to understand that if you plan on sharing that space with anyone, ever, they WILL make judgements on you based on this aesthetic, whether you deliberately chose it or not.
Sure, that’s accurate, it takes some level of sincerity (sincerity = seriousness) to have preferences like what kind of coffee table you want and having say, the desire to keep said table clean, or getting curtains for your window. It’s domestic habits that many boys are never taught to care about, and there is an idea that it’s “not masculine” to care about your furniture or decor so they feel awkward or silly going through the deliberate process of picking out things like that and then caring for those things.
Ah, I think that’s where I was getting confused - “serious” to me isn’t quite the same as “sincere”, so I understood “unserious” to mean like, “silly” but in a goofy kinda way. I get what you’re saying now!
So there is a prevalent attitude in guys growing up and around friend groups where displays of genuine feeling are often made fun of and sincerity is considered “cringe” and this attitude often stays with guys through adulthood. This leads to avoidance of “domestic” interests, from interpersonal issues with displaying affection to people they care about, to becoming entire personas of “cool” men who don’t say much or seem detached. (But in reality just come off as aloof and with hangups.)
This is often reflected in how they live. Again, “minimalism” is not the same as just not giving a fuck. It takes giving a fuck to create a minimalism environment that is also pleasing to the eye. As a species, we do often feel happier living in a space we have personalized with our own expression of comfort and style, whatever that may be, and that takes some level of effort.
If you’re fine with sitting on a lawn-chair and having a cardboard box for a nightstand, that’s FINE. You can do that, you can be whatever you want. But you also have to understand that if you plan on sharing that space with anyone, ever, they WILL make judgements on you based on this aesthetic, whether you deliberately chose it or not.
Oh I see, so it’s “unserious” because they are uncomfortable being serious about what they want?
Sure, that’s accurate, it takes some level of sincerity (sincerity = seriousness) to have preferences like what kind of coffee table you want and having say, the desire to keep said table clean, or getting curtains for your window. It’s domestic habits that many boys are never taught to care about, and there is an idea that it’s “not masculine” to care about your furniture or decor so they feel awkward or silly going through the deliberate process of picking out things like that and then caring for those things.
Ah, I think that’s where I was getting confused - “serious” to me isn’t quite the same as “sincere”, so I understood “unserious” to mean like, “silly” but in a goofy kinda way. I get what you’re saying now!
I appreciate you asking questions! A lot of people just react to things without asking for clarification.