• SoftestSapphic@lemmy.world
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    10 hours ago

    Has a date where some chick brought her friend ever resulted in a good date?

    Sounds like setting yourself up to create conflict in a relationship that doesn’t even exist yet.

    There’s no other way to read this besides “I think you are a horrible person so I need protection on our public date, why am I going on a date with a horrible person? I wanted dinner”

    That’s how it reads every single time, and men are expected to be cool with it, or they are proven to be horrible like previously assumed.

    It doesn’t matter if they made themseves afraid of men or not. It’s a set of ideals rooted in misandry, and it doesn’t help women or men.

    • BaldManGoomba@lemmy.world
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      10 hours ago

      Yes. As a dude I recognize that a woman going on a date with a random person is and feels dangerous to most women. I am more than happy to go on a group date or hang out with friends she feels comfortable with for first bit of getting to know a person for like a month to first couple dates. Then once we are looking to know each other closer we can have more private dates. That being said I shouldn’t be expected to pay for anyone’s experience but my own in these dates or hangouts. Maybe my dates but even still definitely not the friends.

      • SoftestSapphic@lemmy.world
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        10 hours ago

        I recognize that a minority of men are assholes.

        There’s no mature reason for a friend to come on the date in a public place.

        The reasons stated are that men are violent animals and need to be vetted and I need physical protection from them even in public.

        That’s not valid

        It’s a set of ideals rooted in misandry, and it doesn’t help women or men.

    • Alaknár@sopuli.xyz
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      11 hours ago

      Sounds like setting yourself up to create conflict in a relationship that doesn’t even exist yet.

      WTF are you on about, mate?

      There’s no other way to read this besides “I think you are a horrible person so I need protection on our public date, why am I going on a date with a horrible person? I wanted dinner”

      There absolutely is another way to read it and it’s: “there are lots of horrible people and I wanted to make sure you’re not one of them”.

      I guess you reacting to this post in that way puts you bang in the middle of one of those two categories…

      • SoftestSapphic@lemmy.world
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        10 hours ago

        What are you on about?

        I just don’t think it’s healthy to assume every man is a psycho and then make them prove otherwise, especially if you want to try dating them.

        Luckily, I’m a married lesbian so i don’t have to deal with this stupid shit.

        • Alaknár@sopuli.xyz
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          7 hours ago

          I just don’t think it’s healthy to assume every man is a psycho and then make them prove otherwise, especially if you want to try dating them

          It’s a bit difficult to determine just from online interactions, don’t you think?

          “Dating” doesn’t mean what it used to mean. These days “dating” means “I swiped right, we talked for an hour or two and now we’re meeting for the first time”.

          As long as the other person is upfront about it, I wouldn’t be weirded out if they brought a friend to feel better, honestly, no fucking clue who would have an issue with that. Because it’s not about “all men”, it’s about “I’m meeting a stranger”.

          If you’re the person who sees that situation as an attack, you’re better off leaving the other party alone.

          • HarneyToker@lemmy.world
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            2 hours ago

            I mean, that’s sure one way. I have never used a dating app, been on plenty of dates, and am in my 20’s.