We all do things sometimes that makes life far better! What have you done that’s made a big difference?
Asked for help with a problem at work instead of bringing work home on the weekend. Works not done but I have more weekend.
Yep you need your rest and it’s ok to take it, even if you need help getting there
Exercise! I used to hate it with a passion, but started doing it and it massively included by physical and mental health
After the terror of the COVID-19 lockdowns and the extended period of scrambling to keep the business alive afterward I was deep in a very probable depression. I took to food as a comfort and gained weight rapidly. A former student of mine saw me and mentioned that he operated as a personal trainer; that he’d teach me to lift for a heavily cut rate.
In a year of lifting three times a week (in my traditional obsessive style) I shed all of the weight gain and more. I felt stronger. I had better balance. I had more energy. My mood flipped from depression to contentment. And I scared SO when he realized I could trivially lift him (illustrated by my literally throwing him off of me with only a pelvic thrust during … ah … entertainments 🤣).
Exercise was this thing I occasionally did but hated because it was always cardio which left me feeling sweaty and uncomfortable with aching joints. Lifting was completely different and it took me less than two months to go from fearing it to looking forward to the next session.
Yes! I completely get this. Lifting has been so amazing for me - I really love being strong.
I used to joke about weightlifters. “My sport is lifting heavy objects and putting them back down.”
Little did I realize…
And yes, being strong and having FAR better balance than I’ve ever had in my entire life is a treat!
Those are incredible results Z! Being able to lift your partner shows real strength and belief in your strength. Well done
There was one border I could never cross, though. I wanted to be able to bench my own body weight, but I just can’t. Apparently I started too old and it would literally take me the rest of my life just focusing on bench presses to reach that goal or something.
I’m hard-capped at 45kg. Add even 250g on that (I tried!) and my left arm goes down, goes back up about half-way … and then can’t go any further, no matter how hard I try and no matter how long I try for. At 45kg I can do 10 reps if I push myself hard and don’t mind a day or three of pain across my chest and in my left elbow. At 45.25kg I can’t do shit. It’s really weird.
Even though I can squat 150% of my body weight, give or take. (As my bastard trainer put it: I have sturdy peasant legs. He seemed to think that was a compliment!)
That’s frustrating. Everyone has a limit, even olympic greats though. The fact that you’ve hit the limit of what you can do shows how well you’ve done
Yeah, after six months of hitting that wall I stopped trying to push it and have switched to maintenance only.
I mean I’m still stronger than 99.44% of the women my size (and probably stronger than about 80% of the men I meet day to day). Not bad for someone who was wallowing in depression, right?
Not bad at all!
I went walking
Quit hormonal birth control. I almost never get anxiety attacks now and my internal temperature is much better regulated.
Brush teeth in the shower. It helps me do it daily.
Trying to be more neutral in disagreements! At first it felt disingenuous, but now it helps me communicate better. (Ie: more clearly explained POV, better understanding, more open-minded, etc)
Pause. Every little thing you do on autopilot, take a moment to pause and reflect on the thing you’re about to do, say or even think.
Break a glass and immediately think you’re a failure and you don’t deserve a good life? S T O P. Pause. Why are you thinking this? Is it helpful? Would you say that to a friend?
It’s a bit of an extreme example but that’s the gist of it. Pause, reflect, question.
It’s not that little a change and it takes practice but I find it useful to slowly chip away at all the layers of unhelpful learned behaviours we’ve been passed on for years and years.
If I fall, I always pause (barring hypothetical situations where I fall in a dangerous place like a house on fire or something) and take stock. What did you hurt? Any broken bones? What caused the fall? Are you still at risk?
Then I take action (like getting up).
People sometimes get scared if they happen to witness because to them it looks like I fell and lost consciousness. But for me it’s the only way to make sure that I don’t hurt myself worse in trying to get up.
Pause. Reflect. Question. Carry on, possibly modified.
