Golf: that egg didn’t break, better go find it and try again

Rugby be like “keep your filthy hands off my gourd!!”

Ice hockey be like “gimme de patty or I’ll beat you.”

Baseball like: give u three chances to hit this onion over that fence

Fencing is fairly straight forward (and poke).

football is all like “ew i don’t want to touch this panda egg”

Hockey is like: “I hate you, goalie man, eat this hard disk of rubber imma hit at you with a club.”

And baseball is a spitwad toss

I will not take this lemon slander

Curling: Let’s play with some really clean rocks.

These are great ways to describe sports.

In tennis, I’m pretty sure it’s a lime.

Tennis used to be played with a snowball.