I’ve pretty much hit rock bottom and come to the conclusion that I can’t stay on my current trajectory. It’s already cost me one, if not two, relationships, and I’m tired of dating on hard mode. I’m worried I might be too far gone, so it would be immensely helpful to hear from someone who’s been in the same place and managed to turn things around.
I can manage a week or two with the power of self loathing but once the urges come back I’m really, and I mean really good at coming up with excuses.
I can’t tell you anything uplifting but I found my father’s extensive collection of all possible (legal) kinds of porn a few years back and it honestly scarred me a little. Like mostly not the fact that he watches it but the extremes he apparently takes it to. It was an absurd amount of disturbing material. Oh and some of it might have even been home-made. I didn’t look too closely so I’m not entirely sure and I don’t think I even want to know. I don’t enjoy the thought of being raised by a sex freak. So if you have kids or plan on having them consider that this is what they might feel towards you one day if they ever find out.