I’m 42 (TransFemme). I work from home. Have precisely zero close friends and not even any real surface level friends that don’t live 4+ hours away. Acquaintances at best and none I can comfortably call upon when shit goes sideways. I have no family. They all have either passed or, like my original friend group, disowned me about a decade ago when I came out and transitioned. So no one to put on an “In case of emergency” contact form.
Work holds no meaning other than a paycheck. I don’t really feel a desire to improve a billionaire’s bank statement with my hard work.
It feels like I’m just going through the motions. Biding my time until the inevitable. I know I can’t be the only one. Heck some of y’all may even be flourishing after similar situations. For me? Everyday feels more lonely than the last.
How do y’all do it?
(No this isn’t an unalive myself cry for help. Yes I am in regular therapy. I just don’t have any other avenue for asking such things besides publicly here and some other socials)
EDIT to add: I live in very rural US and unfortunately moving is not an option for me at this time or anytime soon.
I was in the same boat 8 or so years ago, when I first started transitioning, and what I did was find local groups for things I liked on Meetup.com and joined them. I also started attending conversions for things I liked too, if your area hosts any.
At a local anime convention, I met a gaming group which I liked and joined and would eventually meet my current partner in. I had also joined a local board gaming group which is where I met one of my closest friends who was also in a similar alone situation and we ended up bonding because of that and our shared interests.
This is a good suggestion. I’m 59 and like OP moved to a very rural area of the USA. Other than my wife, I had no social outlet at all. Meetup.com failed me though, because I’m in a profoundly rural area. There was literally nothing of interest to me within 50 miles on the site. On the other hand, my quest did lead me to a gaming lounge about 1/2 an hour from home and a group of people to get together and play RPGs and board games with.
While, I don’t go to them, my local comic book shop does nightly events on rotation across multiple CCGs (MtG, Pokemon TCG, Lorcana) Tabletop night and a board game night. Also another good option if there is a comic book store in your area.