I bought some super sour lemon candies for the express purpose of having them for this scenario. I’m imagining something like…

Someone: Oh God! Oh no! I’m freaking out! I can’t stand it!

Me: It’s okay. Here, have this; it’s impossible to have a panic attack while eating a sour candy.

Someone: Okay, if you say so… Hey, what the fuck?! This is unreasonably fucking sour! You dick!

Me: You’re welcome.