Honestly, I find most of the judgemental and gatekeepy tends to come from a handful of people who never grew up. Trauma tends to create a sort of arrested development, and people can mentally get ‘stuck’ at the maturity they were when it happened. Gatekeeping is a form of cope, where they function under the belief that if their criteria is narrow enough, they’ll be safe.
It’s the idea that if you can make a group where everybody is exactly like you, you’ll all get along. It’s flawed logic, because there are always parts of you that you don’t like, and it’s even more aggravating when you see your flaws in others, but it makes sense to me.
Honestly, I find most of the judgemental and gatekeepy tends to come from a handful of people who never grew up. Trauma tends to create a sort of arrested development, and people can mentally get ‘stuck’ at the maturity they were when it happened. Gatekeeping is a form of cope, where they function under the belief that if their criteria is narrow enough, they’ll be safe.
It’s the idea that if you can make a group where everybody is exactly like you, you’ll all get along. It’s flawed logic, because there are always parts of you that you don’t like, and it’s even more aggravating when you see your flaws in others, but it makes sense to me.