My mom is 78 and she has been guilt tripping me to be her care taker. She is currently living with my brother to help raising his kids.
She constantly tells me once they are old enough, she will move in with me so that I can take care of her.
The thing is I don’t know if I am capable. I can’t guarantee the future.
I also don’t want to shoulder the financial burden. She has money but she wants me to pay for her expenses so that she can leave (my brother’s) a generous inheritance. She always tellsd me I won’t get anything since 'i have no kids and I have enough money, and he needs more."
Now we are not talking. It hurts. Why can’t she understand not everyone can be a caretaker? Why is she expecting me to help raising his kids indirectly?
she thinks you are her retirement plan, and Nursing caretaker. She definitely has a golden child its your brother, shes only using it to financially offset her inheritence which you arnt getting. i would just point her to CNA care, and ignore her guilt tripping.
the guilt tripping is a form of subeterfuge, she knows you would refuse so the brother and her can rail on you for being a selfish “b-word” and probably draw in more family members agains you, that cleans thier hands of the bro of actually having to take care of them. i would just keep saying look for CNA/nursing home services.
even if you take her in, she is going to be abusive to you.
Yeah, that’s what I am thinking. I will be driven to madness by her in my home.
she is selfish, and doesnt want to spend money on her nursing/community senior center home. my grandma was in a community senior center(home) you might want to look into whats available, everytime she asks, give her links or the stuff you mentioned already.