My mom is 78 and she has been guilt tripping me to be her care taker. She is currently living with my brother to help raising his kids.
She constantly tells me once they are old enough, she will move in with me so that I can take care of her.
The thing is I don’t know if I am capable. I can’t guarantee the future.
I also don’t want to shoulder the financial burden. She has money but she wants me to pay for her expenses so that she can leave (my brother’s) a generous inheritance. She always tellsd me I won’t get anything since 'i have no kids and I have enough money, and he needs more."
Now we are not talking. It hurts. Why can’t she understand not everyone can be a caretaker? Why is she expecting me to help raising his kids indirectly?
She’s already cut you out of the will. I know this isn’t completely about money, but wow. Emotionally, that’s a pretty big “fuck you”. Combined with the guilt tripping, she’s showing you massive disrespect, and isn’t even trying to meet you halfway. That does not sound like a tolerable, much less happy, living environment for you.
I’m glad she has money. That means she can afford her own nursing home.
She isn’t talking to you because I suspect emotional abuse is her weapon of choice. You’re in anguish; she’s just waiting for you to inevitably break. It’s worked for her before, hasn’t it? Has she been manipulating you for years? Playing you against your brother, too, I assume?
I know this will sound harsh, but the mother you love is either dead or never existed in the first place. Please don’t agree to her moving in. You will regret it within minutes.