My mom is 78 and she has been guilt tripping me to be her care taker. She is currently living with my brother to help raising his kids.

She constantly tells me once they are old enough, she will move in with me so that I can take care of her.

The thing is I don’t know if I am capable. I can’t guarantee the future.

I also don’t want to shoulder the financial burden. She has money but she wants me to pay for her expenses so that she can leave (my brother’s) a generous inheritance. She always tellsd me I won’t get anything since 'i have no kids and I have enough money, and he needs more."

Now we are not talking. It hurts. Why can’t she understand not everyone can be a caretaker? Why is she expecting me to help raising his kids indirectly?

  • Townlately@feddit.nlEnglish
    6·
    6 days ago

    It sounds like OP very much cares about their family. Family just doesn’t respect OP.

    • CatDogL0ver@lemmy.worldOPEnglish
      5·
      6 days ago

      I do like my mom. She just drives me crazy and she doesn’t understand why I am not “accommodating to her demands.”

      • LilB0kChoy@piefed.socialEnglish
        71·
        6 days ago

        she doesn’t understand why I am not “accommodating to her demands.”

        This, in my opinion, is key. It seems like she thinks she has a right to “demand” you take on the role of caregiver. She expects you to consider her needs without her considering yours.

        My .02¢, now’s a great time to establish boundaries. It’s not unreasonable to explain that she can ask, not demand.

      • Townlately@feddit.nlEnglish
        2·
        6 days ago

        I understand. In this case, it sounds like she wants you to predict the future, and that’s more than a little unreasonable.

    • iii@mander.xyzEnglish
      3·
      6 days ago

      Indeed. That’s why I thought OP might benefit from reading my comment. As sometimes people don’t know that that’s allowed.