My mom is 78 and she has been guilt tripping me to be her care taker. She is currently living with my brother to help raising his kids.

She constantly tells me once they are old enough, she will move in with me so that I can take care of her.

The thing is I don’t know if I am capable. I can’t guarantee the future.

I also don’t want to shoulder the financial burden. She has money but she wants me to pay for her expenses so that she can leave (my brother’s) a generous inheritance. She always tellsd me I won’t get anything since 'i have no kids and I have enough money, and he needs more."

Now we are not talking. It hurts. Why can’t she understand not everyone can be a caretaker? Why is she expecting me to help raising his kids indirectly?

  • DominusOfMegadeus@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
    22·
    6 days ago

    Don’t give in. You have every right to live your own life, free from whatever burdens she brings to the table for you. I’m saying this as someone who spent the last 15 months living with parents, striving to cobble together some sort of understanding on their part and have a healthy relationship. I failed, and I’m ok with that.

    • CatDogL0ver@lemmy.worldOPEnglish
      6·
      6 days ago

      I understand. My mom drives me crazy on the phone already. I just can’t imagine living with her. I know the expectations but I hate to be a liar.

      • Frozengyro@lemmy.worldEnglish
        3·
        5 days ago

        Expectations be damned. You don’t owe her anything. I highly suggest you do not care for her. In the case you do, you need strong and hard ground rules/boundaries that you set and she is well aware to not break/cross.

      • DeceasedPassenger@lemmy.worldEnglish
        2·
        5 days ago

        Fuck their expectations. Everyone’s got them. My advice, only give credence to your own expectations for yourself. It sounds like you’re being emotionally abused by her, as others have illustrated. You have no moral obligation to care for your abuser.