• GoddessGundy@lemmy.world
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    3 days ago

    How many women are? They have been notoriously under diagnosed, so what? We still have to live and adapt to this world, regardless.

    I got my autism diagnoses at 39 years of age. Not that it does any good besides validating many of my lived experiences.

    Consider how many women are ND and have been forced fed the notion that we must sit down, shut up, focus, stay on task, do our duties, be strong women, never rock the boat, never be weird, keep a clean home, raise our children right, get paired with the ND boys in class who do actually get diagnosed so as to keep them on task, understand that boys will be boys ad nauseum.

    If I could adapt without any sympathy others can, too, man or woman. Communication is practiced. It must be nurtured from a young age regardless of any roadblocks you’re born with or born to.

    What I noticed was that most of my best friends were diagnosed. We clicked not only because we were similar but also because my teachers paired me with them and it brought us closer for it. Meanwhile, I struggled in school myself. I also had to hold the hands of my friends and be their keepers. It makes me upset that they had extra help while more responsibility was foisted on me when I needed help myself and never got it.

    How am I a bartender who can absolutely relate to what she is saying and how he responded while still, also, being ND myself? Is it any wonder I never went into secondary schooling with the experience I had from grade school to highschool?

    One of my patrons is so much further on the spectrum than I and I would never condescend to her while she is speaking about anything. I’m truly happy to hear about anything she has to talk about.

    But if someone, man or woman, comes into my establishment and spoke to me in the same vein he is, I’d respond the same way she did because that response is something I learned to adapt to my surroundings regardless of a diagnosis.

    He fell right into a trap she set and he did it all by himself by typing it out and hitting send. If he’s eloquent enough to respond the way he did, he’s deserving of the answer he got. There is no excuse here that would make me forgive his response.

    If you’re going to use your diagnosis as a crutch, be off with you. You can disagree, but not anywhere in this little text post is there any indication that he even is NB in the first place.

    What she was saying is something that women struggle with NB or not. Men also have their own struggles. Both are valid and there’s no reason to be defensive about her response unless you’re guilty of doing it yourself. But then you’re just projecting.