Hey all, hope everyone is doing well.
I’m curious if anyone out there has made a conscious decision to not date or be in a relationship anymore.
If so, what was your rationale? Do you feel it was the right decision? If you’re currently considering it, why?
I’ve been considering it for a bit. I had some hope that i could find somebody on dating apps but not much luck there. I also feel like i’m not a good candidate to be somebody’s partner. Inadequate. So i’m trying to accept the possibility of being alone forever
Are you currently entertaining the idea?
I call bullshit. Anyone with the capacity to truly consider their own inadequacies is immediately adequate.
You think you’re dumb? No, you can write in complete sentences. You think you’re selfish? No, you obviously don’t give yourself enough consideration. Think you’re ugly? Beauty is fleeting, and also no you’re not. You think someone who’s smart, caring, and cute is inadequate? Once again, bullshit. Go find love.
Awesome response and appreciate the contribution to the conversation!!
Haha, thanks for the kind words. Unfortunately, i think i just have some really high expectations for myself. I’ve got my self-work cut out for me. It also doesn’t help that i’m slightly particular about what i want in a partner (i promise i’m not exceptionally vain—just a little)
It’s not being particular… it’s knowing what you want. There’s nothing wrong with that.
We’re in the same boat with the self expectations. Good enough doesn’t always feel good enough, but it is.
I gave up on dating apps some time ago. Even tried the paying member options and it didn’t help.
You bring up an interesting point… I think the same about being good partner material. For me it’s not so much inadequacy but overall being bad at relationships 😂
Yes, currently considering this myself. Which is what prompted the question. I think I’m just too tired to deal with it anymore (as a broad and general statement).
Being alone and not dating could be two different things. That may be something to consider. While I hope you may have a change of heart, I do appreciate you responding openly about how you feel.
Oh boy, the paid subscriptions 😂 i went through the same experience. Fun times
Hm, it sounds like you at least have experience, so i’m sure there are lessons to take away from your previous experiences (assuming you haven’t already taken them). So maybe there’s some hope to be had there. I believe everybody has the capacity to change
I completely understand the “tired with it all” sentiment though. Perhaps it’s just a transient feeling that too shall pass, as i usually find it to be for myself. If not, i wish you contentment on your journey
Very true, i kind of just instinctively said “alone”. Not the best choice of words :P the feeling very much comes and goes in relation to my recent experiences and mood. I should probably talk to a therapist haha. And aw, i appreciate you entertaining my rambling!
There are always lessons to learn from, absolutely! Haha, more experience than I care to mention at this point.
Hope and capacity to change are both interesting concepts. Agreed we all have the capacity… the desire or willingness is another story. For me personally I’ve spent enough time changing (for better or worse) and I no longer see a need to change anymore.
Hope, IMO, isn’t something I personally put a lot of thought into. It’s just not how I’m wired.
I’ve been tired for a while. It isn’t so much transient as it is coming to terms with it all.
Therapy is a great resource and if you feel it may be helpful, I say go for it!! Your ramblings are shared by others, and they may feel the same way. You putting it out there may also help someone else who’s been thinking the same.
Again thank you so much!!
🫂♥️