Mickey7@lemmy.world to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 1 day agoWhen you work for a company owned by a A..holelemmy.worldimagemessage-square84fedilinkarrow-up1570arrow-down16
arrow-up1564arrow-down1imageWhen you work for a company owned by a A..holelemmy.worldMickey7@lemmy.world to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 1 day agomessage-square84fedilink
minus-squareJasonDJ@lemmy.ziplinkfedilinkarrow-up148·edit-21 day ago Have vendor take you out to lunch. Walk into bosses office and regurgitate the lunch onto their desk. Profit? Make sure the vendor buys you a nice boozy drink. Some top shelf whiskey or something. Bosses love top shelf whiskey. And make sure you get something that looks absolutely repulsive after you vomit it back up. I’d recommend a Greek Salad, extra feta.
minus-squareChicoSuave@lemmy.worldlinkfedilinkarrow-up31·edit-21 day agoTake long enough and you can just shit on the boss’s desk, slap down the paper, and ask for a “thank you” for bringing back some lunch.
minus-squareAceticon@lemmy.dbzer0.comlinkfedilinkEnglisharrow-up4·edit-28 hours agoLet’s be fair: by that stage you should probably also draw some blood and leave it there. Wouldn’t want to unwittingly be keeping from the boss the nutrients from that free meal.
minus-square_stranger_@lemmy.worldlinkfedilinkarrow-up12·23 hours agoTake a picture of the shit and add it to the expense report. Make sure you notate that you did not keep the gift and instead rescinded ownership to your boss.
minus-squareWiddershins@lemmy.worldlinkfedilinkarrow-up3·23 hours agoTake a picture? How are they going to smell or taste it? Either shit at work and don’t flush or shit on the floor at work if you want to flush.
minus-squareJasonDJ@lemmy.ziplinkfedilinkarrow-up4·1 day agoFor good measure, you should skip breakfast and make sure you have a big lunch. No reason to give your boss any of your breakfast tho. That’s on your time.
Have vendor take you out to lunch.
Walk into bosses office and regurgitate the lunch onto their desk.
Profit?
Make sure the vendor buys you a nice boozy drink. Some top shelf whiskey or something. Bosses love top shelf whiskey.
And make sure you get something that looks absolutely repulsive after you vomit it back up. I’d recommend a Greek Salad, extra feta.
Take long enough and you can just shit on the boss’s desk, slap down the paper, and ask for a “thank you” for bringing back some lunch.
Let’s be fair: by that stage you should probably also draw some blood and leave it there.
Wouldn’t want to unwittingly be keeping from the boss the nutrients from that free meal.
Take a picture of the shit and add it to the expense report. Make sure you notate that you did not keep the gift and instead rescinded ownership to your boss.
Take a picture? How are they going to smell or taste it? Either shit at work and don’t flush or shit on the floor at work if you want to flush.
For good measure, you should skip breakfast and make sure you have a big lunch.
No reason to give your boss any of your breakfast tho. That’s on your time.