I’m already seeing a small but distressing increase in behaviors that are frankly embarrassing.

There’s no need to make what seems like an extra effort to treat each other poorly. Being “casually” antagonistic, dismissive, and instigatory for its own sake is miserably sad.

We don’t have to migrate the crummy reddit culture, too. Let’s leave it back on the dumpster fire?

  • matt@lemmy.koski.co
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    1 year ago

    My two rules to live by:

    • Assume positive intent. Emotions, body language, etc. get lost when you reduce everything to just text. If it sounds mean or sarcastic but might be curious or genuine, assume it is the latter until proven otherwise.
    • never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity being uniformed. Yeah people are malicious sometimes. I still give people the benefit of the doubt.

    That, plus when someone is obviously trolling or stirring something up for fun, don’t feed the animals.

    • larperdoodle@startrek.website
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      Great advice and equally applicable to real life. By assuming positive intent you’re counteracting the Fundamental Attribution Error.

      tendency to attribute another’s actions to their character or personality, while attributing their behavior to external situational factors outside of their control.

      Otherwise you’re likely to spend a lot of time being angry at people who don’t really deserve it. Or even if they do, it’s just not worth your mental energy being upset.

  • Dandylion@beehaw.org
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    1 year ago

    I left Reddit because of it’s toxicity and general hivemind tone that seemed to take over there in the last year or so. I want to interact with kind people, not worry about exactly where I place every single comma in my comments for fear that someone will think I’m putting emphasis on the wrong syllable. I am 100% all in with the “let’s be nice” statement here, thank you for posting this.

  • Andy@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    1 year ago

    I haven’t seen anything like that, personally. I stick to my own communities and have had no issues so far. If anything it’s been leagues better than reddit because it’s so much smaller.

    • demonicbullet@lemmy.fmhy.ml
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      Yeah so far Lemmy has been pretty chill, I havent even felt the urge to call someone a dumb fuck yet and I’ve seen some dumb shit already.

      Something about the way everyone else talks makes it a far more friendly atmosphere. Most people here are open and encouraging, on Reddit people were trying to defend their overflowing karma pile with a spoon, extreme violence of action was common because there was more karma to be gained than being civil (more people checkout a big fight than 2 people making up over a disagreement).

      On lemmy, votes don’t really matter beyond the discussion at hand, and have yet to see a comment/thread actually go negative, seems like not keeping score makes everyone friendlier.

  • ANGRY_MAPLE@sh.itjust.works
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    I agree. It’s not even a case of “everyone needs to be strictly happy and agree with absolutley everyone” like some people seem to be making it out to be. I’m really not sure why random people are bringing up that they’re conservative lol.

    Just be a decent person and don’t rush to insults and death threats. That’s not exactly a high bar to worry about clearing, nor is it asking for much.

    If someone asking a new community to be respectful feels like an attack, personal introspection might be good. Most people don’t feel put off by that, nor should they.

    • Buckwheat@lemmynsfw.com
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      I’m really not sure why random people are bringing up that they’re conservative

      That’s how a lot of people are, they are defined by their political party.

      • SickIcarus@sh.itjust.works
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        1 year ago

        Could simply be a quick and efficient litmus test of the sorts of people you’re dealing with. Over on Reddit, if there’s even a whiff that you don’t agree with the narrative-du-jour you get dogpiled.

  • Bear83170@beehaw.org
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    1 year ago

    The same way Reddit mods aren’t entitled to automatically become mods of the same fediverse alternative community.

  • Yankeebobo@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    This is exactly what humanity should be. We left Reddit for several reasons, one is toxicity. I’m getting too old for that shit

  • ReMikeAble@beehaw.org
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    1 year ago

    I am making a concerted effort not to engage in pettiness or mean spirited behaviour (not that I did on that other platform), anything I’m posting here will be either one or a combination of sarcasm, praise, appreciation, learning, teaching, and humour!

  • Nolando@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    1 year ago

    Hear, hear! It’s really not difficult to be decent human beings and to treat others as you would want to be treated.

    • Wigglehard@exploding-heads.com
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      I am in agreement with you that we should treat others with respect on a personal basis, and I would also like to add that I am a right wing Trump supporter and I totally respect the idea that maybe we won’t agree on much politically we can agree that on a personal basis, speaking with one another that common respect must be first and foremost

      • clawer87@reddthat.com
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        1 year ago

        I’m a pretty far left democrat who hates Biden. Three of my best friends are Trump supporters. No reason politics has to define your relationships.

        • Wigglehard@exploding-heads.com
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          I agree, my coworker who is very left leaning lost his job over legal complications, but we are friends so I decided to petition my manager into giving him his job back after he got out of jail, and now we are together working again

          • Wigglehard@exploding-heads.com
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            1 year ago

            So many downvotes cz i got a guy his job back smh, fyi he’s devoted father and just had some trouble with the law, idk what to even say

            • AyyLMAO@exploding-heads.com
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              idk what to even say

              Anything at all. You’re downvoted because they’re trying to silence you. Just keeping on trucking is the second worst thing you can do to the cowardly anonymous drive-by downvoter.

              The worst thing you can do to them is keeping on trucking. With a smile.

  • veroxii@lemmy.world
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    That’s just the nature of the internet. You can’t change how people behave. This has been a problem from the usenet days or even before then.

    The only solution is moderation. So help shape the moderation policies in the communities you want to use. And if you don’t agree with the policies, create your own communities where you can moderate it.

  • Sun-Spider@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Hey! This post is not specifically related to the lemmy.world instance. From now on, posts such as these will be removed, in order for the community to stay on topic. However, as this post has a relatively high engagement, I’ll just lock it for now.

  • elonspez@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Reddit is way too wholesome 100 if anything. Saying anything “bad” on major subreddits and you’ll either get downvoted to hell or outright banned by powermods. Toxicity is an essential part of Internet forums.

  • MaryAnna@lemmy.ml
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    1 year ago

    Yeah if all the Fundies and capital G gamers could stay at Reddit, that would be great.

  • Wigglehard@exploding-heads.com
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    1 year ago

    As a right wing person, and also a person that has been a complete jerk on the Internet in the past, I’m committed to treating others with respect on this platform, I would encourage community blocking for things that you do not want to see, for example, I don’t want to see porn so I will be blocking those communities and you guys may not want to see my stories that I’m posting from a right wing news site on dank microwave taco, but it doesn’t mean that we have to block the person or be a jerk or block the whole instance that that person is on, please give me some feedback, as I am always ready to have a conversation respectfully with those that I do not agree with

    • e l f @lemmy.worldOP
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      My post had zero to do with politics, and you’ve brought it up several times already in this post for some reason?

      My post was about people treating each other poorly for virtually no other reason than to be malignant.

      • grizzledgrizzly@sh.itjust.works
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        1 year ago

        I feel like this person is trolling the thread and I am sorry because this is exactly what you are talking about. I don’t think this person is sincere at all …

        • e l f @lemmy.worldOP
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          Given that their community has already been banned from other instances (and the behavior of said community in this post already) you’re probably correct.

          I suppose this post has worked as a sort of lightning rod to draw them out, unintentionally.

          • Wigglehard@exploding-heads.com
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            You don’t understand the history of lemmy’s main instance relationship with those they dont agree with, they are quick to block anyone they dont agree with politically, i got banned from lemmy for the sin of posting a fox news link and they told me only nazis post fox news links, not a joke like thats for rizze on the real

            • imaqtpie@sh.itjust.works
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              The world’s a big place. For many people, when we watch or encounter any content from fox news, it’s extremely obvious how they are lying and trying to manipulate the viewers/readers into conservative and reactionary positions. So when people unironically consume their content, it’s quite alarming to those of us who understand what they are doing. We know that your thoughts and opinions are probably warped by the propaganda you have been consuming.

              I’m not going to downvote you because I feel that you’re at least trying to be reasonable. But I just wanted to attempt to explain why people are going to be hostile to conservatives like you and why it’s actually not crazy for them to behave that way.

          • Alice@exploding-heads.com
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            You shouldn’t have to. You have done or said nothing wrong here, what I am seeing here though is a lot of hatred on their end for no reason. And this assumption that sense we watch Fox News, that they have justification to be assholes.

            This is blatant hypocrisy. And quite frankly I’m getting fucking tired of it. This is usually why I don’t walk on eggshells for anybody on the internet speak my mind and call people out on their bullshit

      • Alice@exploding-heads.com
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        This is getting pretty annoying on here.

        Being that you can’t figure it out on your own, let me spell it out for you.

        The reason why he’s bringing up his political views, it’s because we conservatives are demonized by y’all, with your assumptions about how we behave and what we believe.

        That is why he is going out of his way and being genuine with you that he will treat you with respect even though you both will disagree. I think that was pretty self-explanatory.

        His point is to show you that just because he’s conservative, that doesn’t mean he’s going to be a rude asshole to you because you don’t believe what he does.

        I am conservative as well, and after being on Reddit and just the internet alone and every social media site, we constantly have to prove to you that just because we’re conservative doesn’t mean we’re a fucking asshole.

        I’m still on reddit, reddit it’s entirety is a left-leaning group think ecochamber. But I still use the website, and I constantly have to shift through leftist opinions even though I’m not subscribed to any political subreddits.

        Quite honestly I would say it’s something that conservatives have to deal with on every social media platform.

        We have no choice but to coexist with you.

        You claim to be tolerant, but your comment here shows the opposite.

        • you_are_dust@lemm.ee
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          I believe the point is that there’s literally no reason to bring it up. The post is about being better than the place that some users are currently trying to leave behind. Reddit is very big on identity politics. You could just not mention your political leanings in a reply to a post about doing better. If you didn’t bring it up, no one would know and you wouldn’t have to “prove” anything to anyone. It’s pretty simple to avoid. I wrote all this without saying any specific political alignments including my own.

        • e l f @lemmy.worldOP
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          You are projecting so much at me, saying I’m demonizing and being intolerant? I am really confused. I’ve not done or said any of that.

          You and your friend are trying very hard to derail my post and make it about conservatism for some reason?

          I really don’t have anything else to say. Nothing about my post was political in any way, and I’m not going to further be pulled into this bitter loop to try to satisfy this need you seem to have to attack, accuse, and project all this hostility at me.

    • Nubbly@lemmynsfw.com
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      Ha, I’m here for the opposite reason. In my previous reddit life I got burnt out on constant politics (especially after NSFW posts were purged from r/all), so I’m here specifically for the porn! I believe having it casually mixed in with memes and such makes for a much more soothing browsing experience.

      Although, I hope a version of PCM forms here. Loved those memers.

      • Wigglehard@exploding-heads.com
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        Don’t get me wrong I love looking at naked woman, but I just prefer that it’s in person on my shwangdaggle lol but yeah thick white girls are my favorite