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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: August 14th, 2023

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  • Thanks, but what do I say when I first meet them? I did meet the older older one four years ago, but she may not remember much from that time, and I’d be meeting the youngest one for the first time. They are aware of me in general though so it’s not like I’m a total stranger.

    Sure, I could ask about their interests and what they did recently recently, but what after that? I’ll be living with them for a couple of weeks so I can’t ask them the same questions every day. Also I don’t want to bombard them with questions either, otherwise it’ll seem like an interview. What do I say to them when I run into them the first thing in the morning? Like I can wish them a good morning of course, but what after that? How do I pan out the conversations across day 2, day 3 etc? I don’t want to sound like a broken record and repeat the same dialogue every day.

    I’m not really good with small talk even with adults btw, but if it’s something about my work or hobbies, I can talk for ages - however I can’t really do that with the kids though.




  • I’m not Indian, but I’ve got a few Indian friends and have attended a few Indian weddings as well. From what I’ve seen, there’s no “traditional” gift - most of the gifts I’ve seen are something which would be useful for the couple or their house, eg a dinner set, clothes, jewelery, maybe even a gadget or appliance. But this really depends on the couple - younger couples these days may explicitly say no to any physical gifts (because they may just end up becoming clutter) and would prefer accepting cash or gift cards instead. So if you’re close to your friend, I’d say ask them upfront what sort of gift they would prefer or if there’s any type of gift they wouldn’t want - and that should help you narrow it down. Beware that they may say not to worry about bringing a gift and just your presence alone would be a gift (I’ve heard this dialog a few times…), but regardless, you shouldn’t back down, and insist that you will gift them something irrespective of what they say, so this should make them back down if they’re being stubborn. :)

    As someone else said, a Polish gift might be a good idea - doesn’t have to be a “useful” thing, but something symbolic to remember you would be nice.





  • Thanks, I appreciate your kind words. I’m in IT (sysadmin) and would prefer to work remote, but tbh I don’t really care at this point. At first I was a bit choosy because of my overconfidence, but now I’m open for anything - even part time, short term etc - across the whole country even. Applied for several dozens of jobs so far, only had one interview call and I blew it - my mind went blank on a simple python question, although I nailed the rest of the interview, I guess they weren’t impressed when I said I knew python (which I did, but… oh well). I do have another interview coming up, but my confidence has taken a big hit. I used to think I knew this shit inside out and companies would be lining up to hire me, but boy was I wrong. It’s come to the point where I’m willing to take a 40% paycut and go back to tier 1 roles… not like I haven’t applied for tier 1 stuff but I friking didn’t even get an interview call, or let alone a rejection mail, so yea, I’m seriously doubting myself at this point.


  • I’ve been unemployed for 6 months now. Resigned from my old job because I was fed up with how I was getting treated. In hindsight, it was probably a rash decision, but I never expected that getting a new job, with all my skills and experience, would be this difficult. I completely chew thru all my savings, sold half of my stuff, and even ended up borrowing money from my folks to survive. I’m glad my parents were able to help me out, but I feel pretty bad asking them for money when they’ve been retired for years, and it should be me supporting them instead. It really sucks, it feels like I failed my parents and failed at life, especially when I keep hearing stories of how well off my cousins are, how they’re married, own a house, own a car, have kids etc and meanwhile I’m still single, flatting, and don’t have any assets worth mentioning. Sigh.