notceps [he/him]

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Joined 3 years ago
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Cake day: December 27th, 2021

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  • In the annals of this present era, when Heaven’s favor once bestowed upon the Empress of the European Realms, Ursula von der Leyen, now appears to wane, the signs of discord multiply in alarming fashion. Not since the distant days when rulers were cast from their thrones by the wrath of nature have the rivers of Europe surged so violently. The floods that have swept across the lands, from Austria to Hungary to Poland, have wrought devastation.

    These torrents, swollen with the rains of Heaven, have overwhelmed the great rivers—the Danube, the Morava, and beyond—bursting their banks, as if in a dire warning. Villages lay submerged, and cities were brought to their knees by waters that left most of their homes underwater. Bridges, those vital arteries of the realm, have collapsed, and the call for a state of natural disaster echoes across the land.

    Surely, this is more than a mere misfortune; it is a sign from the Heavens. The Empress von der Leyen, though resolute in her proclamations of European solidarity, has lost the sacred Mandate of Heaven. Even now, the rulers of the East and the West scramble in panic. The governor of the hungarian province Viktor Orbán, was compelled to abandon his parliamentary duties and the teutonic general Olaf Scholz schemes the downfall by marching his army on the prohibitively expensive city of Brussels the seat of the Empresses power. In these omens, it is clear: Nature herself cries out, demanding a renewal of leadership that may once again align with the will of Heaven

    The Empress, once entrusted with the sacred duty to guide her people, now finds herself beset by calamity on all sides, for the favor of Heaven does not waver lightly, and the storms above reflect the discontent below. As the rivers of Europe rage, drowning cities and villages alike, it is not only the Empress von der Leyen who must look to the heavens in fear of her fate. In these times of great upheaval, the court of Europe is rife with whispers of challengers, each seeking to seize the Mandate of Heaven and bring forth a new era of rule.

    Reporting from the Red Turban headquarters planning the fall of the EU Sky and the rise of a red one, there will be prosperity under the heavens.








  • Dresden’s Carolabrücke Collapse: A Stark Reminder of Government Neglect Under Scholz’s Regime

    Dresden has been plunged into turmoil as the Carolabrücke, the city’s most vital bridge connecting its northern and southern halves, collapsed during the night. This shocking event has not only severed a critical transport link but has also laid bare the weaknesses in Germany’s infrastructure management under the current regime led by the authoritarian leader Olaf “Nr 2” Scholz.

    The Carolabrücke was more than just a bridge; it was a key symbol of Dresden’s unity and economic vitality. Its sudden collapse is seen by many germany watchers as emblematic of broader issues plaguing Germany’s economy and leadership, widespread recession, corruption and instability. The Scholz regime, already facing criticism for its handling of various international issues, now finds itself under intensified scrutiny as citizens question how such a crucial structure could be allowed to deteriorate to the point of failure.

    As the nation looks on, Chancellor Scholz and his government are facing mounting pressure to not only provide answers but also to take swift and decisive action. From the Bundestag only one thing can be heard “Es wird sich grundsätzlich nichts ändern” (Nothing will fundementally change). Several NGOs one of them Germany Watch lead by renowned Dr. 艾德里安 曾兹 has issued warnings that a human catastrophe is imminent if the world community does not act now.

    Reporting from an underground bunker in srfland I’m Notceps back to the studio.




  • In german news after the AfD won big Scholz has decided to take a page of out a very successful politician, brandon. That’s right baby ‘Nothing will fundementally change’ ole Scholz doesn’t think he should stop any of his wildly unpopular policies of being pro-war, pro-genocide, pro-racism, pro-border, no he thinks that if they just stay the course with him as the captain they’ll get a mandate for 2025 that they’ll be the government without doubt. (“fest damit, dass die SPD und ich 2025 ein so starkes Mandat bekommen, dass wir auch die nächste Regierung anführen werden”)

    Keep in mind his coalition has been historically unpopular and almost all polls will see SPD just eat massive amounts of shit.

    In short Emperor Olaf Scholz has lost the Mandate of the Holy Roman Empire his fall will soon come to pass.

    PS: We need some Olaf Scholz emojis because he has just been the worst and it’s surprising that there’s nothing out there on him.

    Like you can’t tell me someone can’t make an emoji out of his bond villain arc.




  • Hey it’s the resident german hater here with another german hating updating.

    The CDU, that’s the respectable nazis not like the AfD, has some demands from the government. That more or less is a whole bunch of human rights abuses, goes against all kinds of geneva conventions, international law, EU-law, and is just generally cruel. Like establishing permanent border controls, which you know Schengenarea they wouldn’t be allowed to do, mass denial of asylums, ‘sending’ people back to their country and a bunch of other stuff. If a german ever tells you that only AfD is bad remember CDU also is doing nazi shit, also is talking how they are going to break all kinds of laws etc. My message remains the german government has 50% outspoken nazis and 50% not-so-outspoken nazis.