What are you actually asking?

Let it bother you, then don’t let it ruin your day. People are delightful and strange. 🤷‍♂️

You are very wrong about that, but I still never fired me. 🤷‍♂️

UPDATE: Downvoted for admitting that I, too, have battled severe clinical depression. Well done.

The only person who won’t fire you is you.

“Unsubscribe.”

This is not necessarily effective on its own, but it’s a way to find out what the situation is. It is a simple way to open the discussion about your lack of interest in what they have to say. Sometimes they just shut up.

The mere fact that we’re answering your question provides sufficient context to clarify the group’s intentions, no?

Yes, but that’s why there is a sidebar.

Yuval Noah Harari, Sapiens. Enjoy.

I relate to your position. You are wrong. You absolutely do choose to hate or not hate. This lies entirely within your control.

I used to have the impulse to hate them, but I don’t any more.

On the list you cite, emotions is the one thing you choose, even though it might not feel that way right now. I don’t expect you to believe me. I will cite Lisa Feldman Barrett and the book How Emotions are Made and you can decide whether you want to explore or not.

Either way, peace.

You might be able to find people who accept you, even if the average Brit doesn’t. People have strange ideas about whom to hate and why.

It’s complicated and I can’t pretend to really understand your situation, but I trust that feeling pity for them works better for your mental health than any other reaction, including trying to ignore them. Whatever you do, don’t let yourself believe them.

Peace.

I can both understand and relate to being afraid of them. As you wrote, they do real damage and they seem intent on doing more and they seem to feel it’s their mission to do so. From what I can tell, they have been programmed to see the very concept of progressive thinking as evil. Fearing them seems sensible, because being aware of the threat makes it easier to defend against it or protect oneself from it.

But how exactly does it improve your life to hate them?

Are you afraid of them or do you hate them? Those seem like two independent opinions to me, but I’m wondering if you’re conflating them.

I’m afraid of them and I don’t hate them.

Anything at least 2 points higher than the best rate of return you are getting now.

I’m not arguing that it’s wise. I’m merely arguing that it’s not nearly as inexplicable as that comment made it seem.

Take a 1-cup measuring cup, chop celery until it’s full. That doesn’t sound difficult to me. I infer it’s merely not what you’re used to.

I tend to prefer to weigh ingredients, but I also have measuring cups and spoons and using them is not so onerous. 🤷‍♂️

I’m a bit surprised by the question, so I’d rather ask: what would it mean to you for physics not to be true in that hypothetical future?

I can understand it all and relate to some of it, but nothing in that description sounds like “lonely” to me.

When you feel like a failure, do you picture someone who is judging you to have failed? What expectation of theirs are you not meeting?

When you feel empty, what’s missing for you?

When you feel obliged to be with someone, obliged to whom? What did they do for you that leads you to now feel that you owe them something?

When you feel like something is wrong with you, who is judging you as being wrong? What expectations of theirs are you not meeting?

Whose voice do you hear saying “This is not OK”?

Maybe these answers will reveal something to you to help you make more sense of your feelings.

Peace.

How can you be alone and not feel lonely?

This seems like the key question. Relationships or not might not actually matter here.

What does it mean to you to feel lonely? What kind of lonely is that?

Edwin A. Abbott has entered the chat…

You answered your own question in part. After years of practice, the thoughts I have during formal sitting meditation have spilled out into everyday life. I find it easier to let thoughts flow through me, which helps me react much less strongly in moments such as you describe. Meditation is one way to cultivate that kind of relaxation. It’s not even control, but rather repetitive practice and habit.

Trying to control yourself in those situations tends to lead to uneven results, because exercising willpower like that tends to be draining and therefore very sensitive to whatever els is going on for you. If you manage to control yourself, you’ll probably want to get out of the situation as soon as possible in order to recover.

I have found a couple of thoughts helpful:

• This moment will pass.
• That kind of reaction (what I used to/typically do) is not helping.

Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Calmly. With subtle determination.

Of course, none of these are quick fixes.

Peace.