A vast improvement over the original dialog.

That appears to be part of the contact’s name

I usually think that they prefer the “no makeup” look or prefer women that spend more time grooming themselves. Hello, skincare and eyebrow shaping!

If the man was asked directly, sure I don’t really mind their preference.

It usually isn’t prompted, though. It’s usually brought up after they see someone with a lot of makeup on. Those guys are just assholes. Same lines of “I hate it when women dye their hair blue” or “I hate it when women wear…” or “I hate it when women do [something harmless]”

I am usually barefaced, but I love wearing makeup sometimes. The natural look is nice, but I also love sparkles and color! It is fun.

A man is free to prefer no makeup. He doesn’t have to wear any if he doesn’t want to.

@

I have question marks over my head. Time to get my landline phone that is directly wired to IKEA.

Slayer would totally party with some vampires

My meditation: “oh powers that be, give me the strength not to slap this bitch”

My area was full of trick or treaters. I saw more homemade costumes. Had some teens in the spirit, lots of adults, too. My kid got to hang out with some friends and trick or treat.

However, I didn’t dress up this year. Too much to do. My daughter’s costume was all stuff we already had. Didn’t decorate because, again, too much to do.

They do tend to mess up my order, but they are at least super chill and nice when I kindly ask them to fix it.

Man, I am crushed by how badly my local Qdoba prepares their proteins. It’s not like that at other Qdobas.

Checking their bank balance

I don’t know, my tummy hurts more after eating a cigarette than junk food.

Ah, so they can show off their boo-bs.

Oh yeah? Well my $20k PC is better than your $15k PC, peasant.

Another thing you can do to support: do not confront the abuser yourself.

If they are still together, your friend will suffer worse at their hands.

Also cannot overstate the “let them make their own decisions/don’t tell them to just leave” part of this. They need to make that decision themself. The abuser has messed their head a lot, give them the tools to untangle it and get out. You can’t force them to and pressure will likely backfire.

Forgive them if they don’t talk to you for a while. Check in on them (like a text) if you can. Abusers like to isolate. Your friend likely didn’t want to leave you hanging, but they might have had to for their safety. Show them that you’re still there!

It sounds like you are struggling with how your parents and the rest of your family treat you.

Does it make it better or worse if you were indeed their child?

In my mind, blood means nothing. Blood might be your starting place, but you can choose to keep who you want at any time. I only associate with people that do not mistreat me. I was NC with my dad until he died. He treated me like shit, so one day I refused to give him the time of day.

My ex was also horribly abusive to me. When I decided “no more,” he got no special treatment from me either. I got a restraining order against him, like I would for anyone that would try to physically harm me.

Holding on to the past and keeping score isn’t helpful for you. It’s ok to remember it as the reason why you wouldn’t talk to them (or gray rock if you must still associate), but to wish the score was settled? It is a burden on you. Treat yourself with the dignity you deserve, let it go, and heal.

It is not easy, but you are worth this work.

I realize that you see things that planted this seed in your head. I am telling you, that is not really the root of your issue.

What does matter? The people that you do choose. The things YOU decide are important.

Believe me, I know this. I have been mistreated for my childhood and early adulthood. I always wondered what I did to deserve it. Truth of the matter is, I was never likely to find the answer. I could spend a whole lifetime wondering, and for what? I just chalked it up to other people sucking. The way they treated me isn’t a reflection of me, it speaks more to their own shortcomings. I still get mad at how they treated me sometimes, it’s not perfect. But it has made my life a whole lot happier when I let this go. It’s time for you, too.

Unless you decide to independently verify everything you interact with, there is a certain amount of faith that one needs to keep to live day-to-day. I’m not talking about religion.

If I hold a rock in my hand and think it’s a very old rock, but instead it was just a piece of concrete, does it matter?

To you, am I just a bot or am I a person very far away from you talking to you over the Fediverse? Does it matter?

Is the sun really there, or is it an elaborate hoax? Observing the sun and moving on is enough. Does it matter?

What does matter to you? If you ask me, you should care about a few things. Your own wellbeing. The wellbeing of your community. Your friends. The things that bring you any joy. (And if you have none, then if you work on your own wellbeing, you will be able to find joy after a certain point.)

What if you weren’t biologically your parents’ child, but they weren’t aware of that fact, either? Like you got swapped at the hospital? What would that change for you?

Those New Jerseyans know what they did.

Him: “do you enjoy your job?”

Me: “eh, it’s alright. I don’t hate it.”

Him: “you should enjoy it”

Me: shrug “ok”

No need to really engage. No need to give a lot of details. If he pushes just kind of blow him off.

I sometimes get miffed by people that are more privileged than me telling me I should take it easy like them, when that is not an option for me. I remind myself that they just don’t get it and move on.

Yum