I just told my partner 4 days ago I’m doubting my gender for almost 2 years already. She is really supporting and has many “lightbulb” moments and I have many oh other people don’t think about that. Also told one non binary friend they are also really supporting luckily. But they are also the reason of me doubting myself.

I always felt not a real man, but also didn’t always want to be a woman. But as a child and teenager when I tried gender no confirming things I had bad experiences in public. So in the back of the closet it went. I have met some trans woman and man in my life, and dated them. But never felt envy or jealousy(don’t of that are the right words I’m not native English) until about 2 years ago and met our non binary friend and it hit hard. That something I want to, not exactly like they but something like it.

Not that I know what exactly I want to be and express it. But I can explore things now together with my partner and friend. But I’m also really scared and feel guilty for taking up space. Some times I just want to go back, but sometimes I’m also happy it’s out.

But hey shaved my arms and damm that feels good 😊 (I don’t like all male things of my body, some or okay) and trying somethings with pronouns.