Last thought with AI. Just like with how Amazon took over is what is happening with AI now.

These products aren’t for you. They are being used to make you the product by eroding your skepticism and building blind trust.

I am not against AI but I am against how it will be used. Bit of back story I have worked with “AI” type of learning software for the last decade and have seen how business evolve the software.

Great example is working with UCaaS and CCaaS, phone systems if you aren’t familiar. There is a little function known as metrics that providers can use to score agents and users calling in. By itself this is great knowledge to have as you can isolate what what is commonly said, build frequently asked questions for example or have an AI that can tell you those. However in the last five years or so I have seen this technology being used to abuse workers and not provide help to customers. These same metrics can now measure voice levels, frustration, activity level to extreme detail, verbiage, emotions, etc. It can build a spreadsheet report on who is a good worker vs bad. Now what it doesn’t consider is if the employee is having a bad day, going through a divorce, or something terrible that may be affecting them. Tech doesn’t care and will flag you as a bad employee if you drop below a threshold. And it remembers.

On the flip I have seen a demo of AI being used for emergency routing. Say someone calls with their cell to report a fire. The same AI tool with the right integrations can look where the caller is calling from. Pull up cctv or activate police cameras near. Identify if other calls in the immediate area are reporting issues. An example I saw within a minute of calling in the system would be able to provide all the info that the dispatcher needs to know even if the caller couldn’t tell them where. This tech could help save hundreds of thousands from accidents to domestic abuse.

What it boils down to is not the technology itself but WHO and HOW it will be used. So for all these people willy neely installing AI on every device because it is free look at recent example of tech being obsolete once it is no use to companies. You are being fed slop to make you comfortable with AI having access to everything, even intimate moments in your house. In the next decade when companies change how they are using AI it will be to late to claw back those freedoms.

Look up what is happening to Nest and Ring right now. Companies want to earn your trust with cheap products and fun but your best interest is not at the top of that list.

I respect your optimism.

Look how divided people are already. If you were close to starving, family suffering, do you think republicans and dems would get along? Not the ones I know, especially republicans. I know several that are ready for a civil war, actually prepping for it. One in particular I no longer associate with is hoping it comes to that.

I believe that we wouldn’t come together because the people at the top wouldn’t want that. They would stir up more drama to try and make the poor fight. That is what it comes down to. Make the poor war with themselves so the rich get ignored with their abuse of society. Always has been, always will be the motivation. Country, time doesn’t matter.

Love me some WKUK! People watching is one of my favorite activities when I go out. With the hearing and all usually live in my own head while out in crowds. You can absolutely learn a lot about people by just watching their actions.

Glad to hear life is more clear for you. As you lose sense at a slow rate you easily forget what you have. Double good for people to remember these experiences as it helps dealing with other people that have similar issues.

I have plenty to be thankful for. Regardless how bad my issues seem I’ve seen far worse outcomes. I am just at the point where I have lost the energy and motivation to keep trying to improve my station. Short life has worn me down so much just roll with the punches and hope for the best. Don’t compare your life to someone else though. Everyone experiences life to different degrees. Our struggles compared to previous generations is nothing.

Had head cancer at 15. These are the effects of the radiation. The whole head region tons of problems. Mentally no. Had a huge mental breakdown 5 years ago. The whole self-deleting isn’t a matter if, but when for me to let you know how bad things are. I’m not a quitter though so I’ll be around at least till my mother passes.

Your buddy sounds like an unsung hero! The difference between medical person treating you as a patient and caring for you is huge. Learning the technology and procedures that make all this work, truly a marvel of medical and engineering.

Tell him thank you for the work he does.

Thank you for the response. Living is US so healthcare is always expensive. That is a big concern is being on a limited budget now having been told for at least the first year there are therapy and learning sessions involved. That means for my decision it needs to be worth the money, time, and energy. So far I’m leaning to no and just living with what hearing I do have left.

The more you know! That was extremely enlightening so thank you for taking the time to respond and post the links.

Unfortunately I have no interaction with the deaf community and don’t know anyone who signs. I had great hearing until the age of 15. Since then I’ve worked in technology so communication is usually with not as hard with quiet rooms and headphones. I’ve been informed by my medical team and read so much on what it can do. Looking for someone that has lived their life with a device that can give me a more day to day experience. Doctor’s can’t tell you how it feels going through a security check point and everyone eyeing you or what it is like processing end of the day taking the device off.

Take this all with a grain of salt and ponder if any of this fits. It is not an attack but my observations and experiences from a cruel world.

Ahh but I am not attacking you. Again that is a mental issue you are instantly getting defense about and immediately saying something won’t work. Because how I worded things you now think I am hostile towards you.

I do take issue with you saying because I broke up with my ideal person and we aren’t alike for that very reason. Assuming so much from such a short sentence. For context I broke up with her because I am not the man that could provide a loving life style for her kid. I tried. I tried for 5 years to treat this kid as my own but he rejected me. The night I broke up with her she begged me to stay together, we could live separate when she had custody of her kid. Am I the asshole for breaking up? I gave her a chance to find someone else that may have better luck connecting to her kid. Spoiler she did find a guy that the kid at least tolerated and they’ve been happy together since. I’ll go ahead and say I am probably more like your boyfriend in this scenario. Maybe he found something flawed in the relationship and he just wanted to let you off easy?

For context I am a deeply disturbed person myself. I have extreme levels of depression and I struggle to maintain friendships with some people that see differently than I. I’m stuck in my mental ways but I do go to a therapist and get outside assistance with my issues because I came to the realization that I am broken too. I can’t handle my own mind on my own. I’m not proud that it took me several mental break downs to admit I can’t finish this life alone. It isn’t easy to talk about. The whole reason I even posted here is due to my therapist telling me to reach out to others more after my best friend killed himself with an OD last week.

So no this isn’t an attack on your person. This is a warning that reality does not have any concern for you and if you cry yourself into a mental state about appeasing others. I’m terribly sorry if you fail to change that path yourself. There are tons of people willing to help, irl and online. We’ve been shaped by different life experiences and events. You will likely hear a lot of things you don’t want to hear and those are likely the truth you need. Whether you consider what I’ve posted as help or an attack is up to you. But you asked.

How to start this. I think there are a lot of underlying issues with what I have read and this is only an outside perspective. Some other commenters have already said similar things but here we go. Take this all with a grain of salt and ponder if any of this fits. It is not an attack but my observations and experiences from a cruel world.

First thing I would like to point out is you seem to have a need to gain happiness from others. By this I mean you saying your life hasn’t gotten any better, hopelessness, how great this person is and they greatly improved your life, etc to me sounds like you have some deeper issues with yourself. You are broken in the mind somewhere or perhaps an empath where you can’t help but rely on others for emotional balance. Where ever that stems from I feel like it may be eating away at your perception of everything around you. This is the first thing you need to correct in your mind before you will ever find happiness with another person. There is no one nor just one right way for people to find who they are. Many are never put in the position to figure that out. But alas it should be something you strive for. Much more to say on this matter because if is important but the night is late so I’ll continue. I see this in your comments because you can’t let the past go and enjoy the good experiences you gained from it. You are accusing yourself of “not being good enough” for this gentleman. You are comparing yourself to his friends. You’ve then compared your entire life to not “improving” from something three years ago. That one is is the worst mental shackle you can put on yourself. You say “don’t throw me a pity party” but that is the whole post. Why do you dedicate so much of your mental capacity to constantly tell yourself horrible things? Silly humans and emotions. What are you doing to try to improve your situation?

Second part I would like to touch on is has already been covered by others but you sound incredible naive when it comes to dealing with people. There are all times of people out there. Majority of people are good and mean well most of the time but we all carry inherent bad traits. It is on the person to recognize and learn to live a good life with those traits. But you can’t rely on people always being good to you because that isn’t the world we live in. You need to develop critical thinking when dealing with other people. For example everyone has a motive. What is their motive when interacting with you? It can be good or it could be bad. Narcissistic people are a great example of the type of person that uses emotion or some other form of leverage to turn situations in their favor. But there is just a drop in the river of what kind of people are out there. No individual is limited in their capacity either. You can meet someone that is a master manipulator but only does good with their abilities. The old neighbor that always shows up to help, gives you the best advice, or just makes you happy when you are down. The world isn’t black and white though. If you don’t have a natural talent to identify people and their motives there are plenty of self help books, videos, and therapist you can gather the knowledge from. The kicker is you never stop learning and identifying new types of individuals. To me it is beautiful to see the diversity that is our species. Learn to see things differently than you do now.

Last part for this evening is learning that sometimes the right thing isn’t. Just because we desire or feel something so completely it feels like a missing piece of yourself, doesn’t mean it will work out. You may never have another relationship that completes you as much as that gentleman but I say that is pure folly. You’ve limited yourself to never having room for improvement and it will negatively affect all future judgements you make like shooting yourself in the foot before the race starts. We have to play by the universe’s whims and not being able to let go of something will destroy your mind. For context I ended a relationship with what in my mind is the greatest woman for me. But life had other plans. I remember the bad and good but try my best to dwell on the good. Makes me happy to remember her love for baking. I miss her and wish it had turned out different. It would also be extremely unfair to previous and future relationships though to say no one else can compete. All relationships have ups and downs, it really just comes down to how much energy the other person can put into making it work. Also communication. But that is a whole book that would need to be written.

To sum up my rant now that I’m looking back at this wall of text. Get out of the pity party pool, pull your big girl pants up and educate yourself on yourself as well as how to deal with other flesh bags I mean humans. You did good reaching out to others though. That is the first step no matter how small it may seem. Pat yourself on the back just keep trying if even a little. The universe if unforgiving but there are a lot of people willing to help. Chin up you’ll make it through.