I started with the most intensely femme name I could think of, but after a couple of weeks it started to feel a bit off and too youthful to reflect how I feel. I realized that I couldn’t picture me using it in most contexts, it was just giving me euphoria because it was a feminine name, so I went back to the drawing board to find something that is more “me”.

I then proceeded to draw a blank. So I started repeatedly refreshing a random name generator with my wife. Eventually I heard something that sounded almost right to my ears. I changed a letter, amd it felt good! Then I realized I’d only ever seen the name on a pokemon game.

That sealed the deal for me, a name that sounds close enough to a common name to not stand out, but isn’t common, and is a callback to geek heritage. That’s a fit for me, and it passed my vibe check, so I kept it.

Now I just need to get my inner monologue to start using it. Its been months and my brain keeps deadnaming me =(

And I still want to figure out a middle name. I am sure as shit not keeping mine, but I want to choose something with more personal meaning, instead of just nice vibes. Unfortunately, I am still drawing a blank there, but it’ll come to me eventually. I feel it =)