This looks like a great bit for an internal monologue, about the crisis of faith, loss of self, whether you’re there or not, whether these people are for real, and what are you doing here. It could go something like this:
‘‘Folks, we got the best crowds, beautiful crowds, I tell ya, just looking around, peeping through the donut hole and into the stove. You saw me making fries? I make the best fries, they never looked so toasty and golden, like my apartment, brilliant like me. You see me standing here, but what does it all mean? Look at this crowd, folks, we got the biggest crowds, check out that guy over there (points), the fake news media is always saying people walk out, but I never see them leaving, that guy went to the bathroom and came back, nobody’s leaving, but I’m leaving after this rally, you’re all leaving. People say we’re crazy, but you will come out to vote for me, I don’t care about you, maybe I don’t care about myself, but you’re cheering like I cheered for those golden fries, and they clapped back. The salty ‘‘El Dorado’’, you guys ever heard of that place? Some Spanish conquistadors were looking for a place made of gold, but I knew where it was, the biggest gold reserves you’ve ever seen, so magical, like amorphous energy. What am I doing here? (He turns around). The mic isn’t working, feels like that time I had to wait for an order of 4 Fish Fillets with fries, so toasty, so beautiful, or, believe me, that time at Mar-E-Lago when the valet parking went 2mins over the usual, but we have the best valet service, so it’s all water under the bridge. Folks, the sound people came over, they took the sound from me, I can’t get through, I’ll keep walking around and no one will notice we got a sound problem. Look at that hipster back there, we got the best hipsters, so beardy, with glasses, like those nerds back in school, I keep saying it, but nobody can hear me. Who came up with ‘‘Make Detroit Great Again?’’ MDGA, Mmd-gah? Doesn’t roll off like ‘‘MAGA’’. These campaign people can’t pitch camp, slogans, or catchphrases, why can’t they be like those donut energies? Always golden, always round, looks like the sound isn’t coming back, like that shit I took yesterday at that McDonalds, it’s why we had to close down, the dookie was too big. That sound lady is coming back, but they can’t hear me, nobody can hear me, and they aren’t leaving, nobody is leaving.’’
Hey, it’s not everyday my country gets some attention, so they’re all running on top of each other for that limelight. We have J-Go, Angel Cintrón and now the Archbishop chiming in, while the leopards are in front of their faces. I sometimes wonder what it will take for my compatriots to understand they’re not Americans. Will they have to see gringo pogroms in Florida and NYC? Nah, I know that even when they do see them, they will act as ‘‘shocked’’ as they’re acting now, as the leopards eat them.