Land Shark!!!

Everyone that has been exposed to it dies…eventually.

Wait…whaaaat???

Wasn’t that the “high” lobster named Price episode? LOVED that tie died shell of his!

Not really new… I think it was part of an old George Carlin bit.

I swear, honey, I thought you said you wanted a glass jewelry counter. I distinctly remember how hard and cold the glass was when you told me that you wanted one…

My life.

Dude, it’s been 10 years… she’s definitely interested. Probably.

Make up some bogus tiktok challenge with a list of questions she has to answer. Slip: “Do you like me?” In the middle of the list.

Make sure to video it with your phone so it looks legit for tiktok… but really, you can study her response to dylm? over and over for years to come looking for clues to if she really does like you.

It’s still a coin toss. She may just be nice.

The concept of CHALANCE exists but you cannot nonchalantly introduce it into a conversation.

I had a party line during the 80’s in Arkansas.

I really didn’t want to but I’ve had run ins with that HP 5200 in the past and Betty is still covered in toner stains from when he/it dusted her. She was gently cleaning his roller when he suddenly exploded all over her face and hair. Milky white skin, blonde hair, both hands… totally covered in hot black toner… literally forced her to face clients the rest of the day covered in his letter batter. Sorry, not sorry.

I went to the supply closet today and saw with my own two eyes 3 HP printers had our only Brother printer cornered. I backed away slowly and told no one.

OK, I’m not white knighting here… but I don’t want to see you become the butt of the joke. All of this double and triple entendre is getting out of control. For all of this back loading to properly work you need a proper tower case. Personally I’m into cases by the Eiffel company. Eiffel towers are the best! You can front load AND back load simultaneously (some hand holding for structural support may be necessary). I utilize a method that has been widely recognized as the best. You have the comedic effect of a Spit Take along side the slow burn of a good Roast over how sloppy you com ports are. The colloquial term is SpitRoasting… it’s quite the undertaking but if we all work hard we can make this all come together.

Norfolk Southern Fans, Wanking

(using secretive slightly agitated conspiracy voice) That’s how they getcha man… Cocaine in the water man… it’s in there on purpose… they get you hooked on the coke and to get it you keep drinking the water to get mooooore! EVERYONE THAT EVER DRANK WATER HAS DIED AT SOME POINT??? (walks away mumbling about tin foil hats and mind control)

Instructions unclear… just shit in Koi pond while attempting to Dutch oven a fish.