Seconding k3d (and, by extension, k3s). If you’re in a market for sth suitable for more upstream-compliant clustering solution (k3s uses SQLite instead of etcd, iirc), RKE2 is also a great choice

Mnemic -> Anemic

Bra-fuckin’-vo. No irony here, just kudos from one person to another: you’ve not only found someone compatible, you’ve worked out a way to, well, work the issues out.

And as you’ve said: it’s not one vs the other, it’s you vs the issue at hand. Chef’s kiss

Some of recommendations I did not already see, that are not-that-well-known; all of these are various flavors of melodic death metal:

Parasite Inc. - Once and for All

Avatar - Bloody Angel

The Agonist - Panophobia (unfortunately, the band is now defunct)

Okay, I’ll try to take a stab at this point by point:

• The intended effect was for you to go no-contact with her. Imo - a nuclear option on her part (and as you mentioned, there were alternatives).
• Yes, you do, and yes, I am sure. No discussion on this point, no moral hair-splitting-type-of-deal.
• That’s the best thing you could have done. While battling addicition and your inner demons is an uphill struggle (been on therapy for 4 years after a distaster of a break-up myself), it’s worth it, if not for your friends and family, then for you and for the sake of improving as a person.
• Unfortunately, cannot give you an answer on this. And, to be completely honest, you don’t need one; best thing you can do here in my opinion is to let it go.
• Keep going to therapy, keep working on yourself. This will pass if you keep working on this, I promise.