its absolutely wild to give an LLM write access to your email

It’s fair, and now that I think about it that way it’s reasonable.

Thanks for the advice!

It sounds reasonable. Thanks!

I’m not programmer but I’m music producer. I could create one song for them so they can make a video looking to reach more people. Also I can create some SFX for them, like for the UI, the splash screen, etc.

But I also feel insecure whether they’ll welcome this or if I’ll only add burden to them.

Any advice? I really want to start contributing to FOSS projects but at the same time I don’t really feel prepared.

I don’t think so. I’m taking myself sertraline and the weight gain affects my physical health.

Maybe the cumming part it’s not that important tho, although I think that’s a really good form of emotional and distress regulation.

Yeah, and that doesn’t mean that I’m in favor of that and/or that I oppose to them being maintained as they are; I don’t also mean the opposite. I’m just asking because I don’t know.

Also, again, abolish labels ≠ abolish the identities they name or define. These are two really distinct things.

Oof, just noticed that I didn’t respond to this:

Also in what way would they break any trust by not talking unprompted about their gender? The trust that you live in a dream world of only your preferred partners?

I meant, I feel like there’s a form of basic trust in which other people will not lie to us or hide us something that would in one or another way affect us, nor deceive us. But, for sure, there’s also the thing that they have to protect themselves against bigots.

Thank you really much for the insights and the advice!

I’ll for sure put them into practice.

That sounds reasonable.

Sorry if I acted overly defensive.

I’m understanding better (at least a bit 😅) now. Thanks!

Genuine question, but why does the woman have to state wether or not they are cis/trans, why can you not ask them? As it seems so important to you, would that not fix all of your issues with dating women?

Tbh, I really didn’t consider that at all, and I now feel like a stupid for it lol.

Although, while that might also work, I don’t personally feel like it’s an option to me because I’m really bad at communicating IRL. I’m introvert and really, really shy.

I’m also really, REALLY clumsy and thus I know that even if I try to ask that with the greatest possible touch, it’s probable that the other person can feel uncomfortable or bad, and that my question could trigger a trauma, or a sensible spot in their own feelings and experiences. Also I feel like she then could start hating me, or looking at me with disgust.

But aside from my own insecurity, the biggest problem is what I said: for many that issue is a delicate thing, and I don’t want to cause problems or discomfort, I feel really fatal feeling that I’m causing someone discomfort that I most likely don’t deserve.

When and where did I said that I wanted to ban them? I love them as some of the best friends I could find.

I’m only asking this because, read well, the problem of expectations conflicts.

That sounds pretty awesome actually, I now ask myself if I was just fighting mostly against ghosts haha.

Listening to your IRL LGBT+ pals will guide you right, and remember also a lot of the microlabel discourse is heavily skewed to be online. A handful of self selected randos on the internet anywhere isn’t going to be representative of a whole-ass community (myself included!)

Also, this is really insightful, I think I should do that more. I just feel that sometimes I can make them tired or bored by some many questions lol, but this could be nothing but my own insecurities.

Thanks for the response!

What I meant was more about gender abolitionism (something that for example gender feminists as Simone de Beauvoir, Shulamith Firestone, Monique Wittig, Sheila Jeffreys, Judith Butler, Kate Bornstein, Leslie Feinberg. Alok Vaid Menon, and an important percentage of plural beings defend or at least propose themselves). It’s about the linguistics of gender identity, not about identities themselves.

And I’m not saying that it should be like that, but asking if it should be or not like that, because I honestly don’t know. I just want that people were less discriminated and more free, and that everyone respects everyone else, and that includes boths their identities and their expectations and limits.

This ^

I didn’t meant that, either.

“I want to be a woman because woman are like that” “I want to be a man because man are like that” go fuck yourself.

I think that this is mostly correct, tho.

Take

What I actually (tried) to mean was (and I simply copy and paste it because, like, it’s pointless to rewrite it if I already have it written in another place lol).

Imagine this:

I like only cis women, and if a trans women doesn’t explicitly states that she’s not cis when we’re flirting or whatever, I would feel violated when I discover that’s not the case, specially when it comes to sex, not because I had anything against trans people, because I don’t, but because a basic layer of trust in any commitment, relation or even adventure was broken.

It would be the same if I, or someone else, only liked trans women or men, and one cis woman or man did not stated that, or any other case where someone expectations and limits were not respected.

I only have to add that it is like that not because I hate trans (or non-binary, or in general non-gender-conform people), or because I like to exclude or discriminate them (although I know I might do that sometimes, I try my best not to do it). It’s just because I don’t like penises, y only like vaginas. And as me, there’s many people both inside and outside of the queer community (actually, one of my ftm friends is himself cis-homosexual because he only likes dicks, not pussies, and AFAIK [I haven’t asked her because she did exit from the closet just recently, and I don’t know if it will make her uncomfortable] my mtf is also cis-lesbian, because she only likes pussies, not dicks; both of them feel revulsed by their same sex genitalia).

This sounds fair, tbh, but I feel that it doesn’t solve the root problem of expectations conflicts. I like only cis women, and if a trans women doesn’t explicitly states that she’s not cis when we’re flirting or whatever, I would feel violated when I discover that’s not the case, specially when it comes to sex, not because I had anything against trans people, because I don’t, but because a basic layer of trust in any commitment, relation or even adventure was broken.

It would be the same if I, or someone else, only liked trans women or men, and one cis woman or man did not stated that, or any other case where someone expectations and limits were not respected.

But I know that’s also problematic to force everyone to comply with some laconic standard of transparency about something that might be taboo or a sensible topic on someone because of their ambient or because of their own internal conflicts, and because they can’t know if the person they’re talking with will discriminate them or if they will understand them.

It’s complicated, but I hope that a solution that balances both needs could be achieved.

Actually, I felt a bit relieved (and surprised) because they had this same question themselves and, more or less, concluded something like what I concluded: clarity and conflict prevention are first, and if queer people want a better communication and a better ambient for not only they, but also for everyone else, it’s better to have labels. At the very end, humans communicate deep or complicated concepts, feelings and ideas primarily through words.

Although they said something to me too: it would be better a world where everyone just freely exists and express themselves without the pressure of labels, and I couldn’t do anything else than agree.

Now, the problem is, if everybody makes the same as you, what will happen to Libre Software? We will not have any alternative — and you’ll suffer from that too. In any rational sense, what you’re doing is a bad idea.

Yeah, these are really hard and though problems.

I usually feel very depressed when I think about it because I do not like the idea that other people have to suffer in that way (wether it is a victim of harassment or abuse, or one of false allegations).

I would argue, however, that false positives are not so low. Especially when there are so many malicious incentives (even if they are not intentional on the part of those who plan, develop or approve this type of measure) to do that, and there are also too many people who are twisted in the world. Sometimes I start to think about why we had to touch such a difficult world, when I realize things like that. The same goes for false negatives, though.