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Joined 8 months ago
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Cake day: November 5th, 2023

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  • The nearest bakery is almost a 30 minute walk. To live closer I’d need to triple my income to afford a home.

    Yes, I live far from the office (which is at a hospital) but I’m technically a work from home position because they give me a laptop and phone and I’m only required to come in every couple months. I work with hospice patients in their homes, so I have to drive to their houses with a trunk full of supplies that can’t be reasonably packed into a single bag for other types of alternative travel. Plus, living in a Chicago suburb means going to work in sub zero to single digit weather, sometimes severe storms, and life stressing heat. A car and travel is mandatory for my job.

    It would be beautiful if I could access a bakery and be out in 5 minutes, but it’s not an option. So I live the apparent tragedy of less than ideal sandwiches lol .


  • So get up early, drive to the store, purchase a days worth of bread, drive home, drop it off, drive 45 minutes to an hour to work, work 8 hours, drive another 45-an hour home, and make sure to poll the family to see who wants bread for the next day because we’ll be out again and I don’t want to wake them up at 5:30 am to ask.

    What a completely rational solution that doesn’t waste time or gas at all!!!

    OR -hear me out- be ok with less than perfect bread.

    Gonna have to think this one over.




  • Good (fresh) bread only lasts a day or two around my house, because it’s amazing and delicious and everyone just eats it.

    Average commercial everyday bread is going to sit around longer because it’s waiting on someone to feel like making a sandwich, or feel like having toast. It’s basically a pantry staple hanging out, waiting to get used. The fridge is fine for that.

    EDIT I see your edit - I think culture/lifestyle is also playing a fair part here as well. I’ve spent most of my life living in a rural area where nothing is walkable, so trips to the grocery store were once a week. If I lived in a place I could just walk down the street to a bakery and grab a fresh loaf, that would be different. But just because I don’t live in a walkable place doesn’t mean I’ve never had good bread.







  • She may have insecurities, unsure of how her body looks or smells, or whether or not she’s “normal” down there. Fear of judgement can be a huge mood killer.When I was growing up I was never told there was anything wrong with me, but discussion of bodies was rather taboo. It took MANY years before I was comfortable with myself. Also, if she’s ever experienced any trauma, that could make her less comfortable as well.

    Are you guys able to have discussions about intimate matters? What turns you on, what kinds of touch, how and where? She may or may not know why she’s not comfortable with it, but communication is so important for the health of the relationship. Patience, kindness, and to be supportive and non-judgemental of each other goes far with intimate matters.


  • Since birth our brains are wired to look for faces. It helps with survival when the helpless wiggly thing bonds with the giant who is full of hormones telling them to protect it.

    As we grow we learn to recognize other patterns, which help us find food, be safe, find a mate, etc. Our brains are constantly looking to match everything we see with something from a previous experience. Which is unfortunately one of the places PTSD can pop up. Say you had a traumatic experience - you may not remember seeing someone wearing a red hat just prior to something terrible happening, but your brain might. In the aftermath it’s possible that you find yourself uncomfortable around someone wearing a red hat but can’t figure out why. You may not remember, but your brain does and thinks it’s helping by alerting you too a problem.




  • You know how many smokers have/had their hard line on what price would make them quit smoking? For me (a 52yo woman) that was when pop breached $5.99 a 24 pack case. I would buy it again occasionally if sale prices dipped into that range, but having crossed that line it broke my habit. The thought of $7 for a 12 pack is just painful.