I don’t understand why you don’t just put the kids in the helicopter and fly them up to Grandpa’s condo?

Universal Pictures bought the rights to make Lego movies, but that didn’t include the rights to any of the popular characters from The Lego Movie or its spin-offs. Those stayed with Warner Brothers (even though WB can no longer use Lego, so those characters are functionally dead).

Universal also didn’t get the rights to any of the franchise characters typically associated with Lego, so they can’t use Boba Fett, or Batman, or Gandalf, or Harry Potter, or even Jack Sparrow.

So they’re sitting on this huge IP and have no way to actually use it. And so Pharrell comes along and says he wants to make a documentary about himself, and they say nah that’s boring, nobody wants to see that. Then someone realizes they’re going to lose the rights to Lego if they don’t make a movie with them soon. And here we are.

Maybe it’s time to admit that you are bad at this and you should do something else besides trying to run a business. It’s clearly not your forte.

This is pretty good satire, and I gotta give you props for sticking to the bit, LunchMoneyThief.

Happy workers stay longer and don’t leave rotting fish in the vents right before quitting out of frustration.

Well that’s pretty rude. Kathy Bates is an attractive person and doesn’t deserve this kind of slander.

That they hate America? Yeah, I gathered that.

Hey Nikki? Hey, maybe that’s not a good thing. Maybe that’s something you shouldn’t be happy about, and something you should push back against if you actually care about your party or your country.

What’s that? You only care about your own skin?

Physically, anyway. Mentally? Depends on how late in the evening it is.

A sound bite of him soiling himself on mic would be fun.

Saddest thing is nobody is going to watch this who hasn’t already decided.

The people who voted for him in the last two elections, who would gladly lick the diaper leakage dribbling down his leg off his lifted loafers, will not watch this. They will watch the clips of Fox News sycophants highlighting the two or three gotcha lines and declare him the victor, regardless of his performance.

People on the fence will tune it out, as they have everything else, because they are absolute fucking morons who don’t give a shit about anything outside their own sight line.

Harris supporters will confirm that she is a competent orator and debater who won against a gibbering human suitcase full of soiled laundry, and nothing will change.

It’s not bold to assume that, actually.

I mean, it is fucking boring.

Ask a Palestinian in the West Bank if they think Hamas are terrorists or freedom fighters.

“Terrorist” is a thought-terminating cliche.

Both Israel and Hamas are religious extremists who exploit and murder innocent civilians. Neither one is worthy of our aid or our defense. Send aid to the poor people caught in the middle of this shit and stop sending weapons.

The other side gives bribes too. The only difference is that Israel has a stronger lobby and a bigger pot to finance their payoffs.

This will never end until we get the money out of politics.

The lobbyists getting fat and rich off their layouts from weapons manufacturers will ensure it never gets done. Who do you think Israel is getting all their guns and drones and missiles from? Guess what? It’s the same place Hamas gets theirs from. The only difference between them is the number of bank accounts and off-the-books deals on the way there.

Those bombs will keep flowing to both sides as long as money keeps flowing back. Ideology has nothing to do with it. It’s all about the cash.

If the US stopped taking sides in this ass conflict, maybe the corrupt fuckers running the war from both sides would have a harder time profiting from it and knock it the fuck off.

Hard not to be cynical when we’re treated like shit because our parents, grandparents, and dipshit neighbors keep enabling the billionaire oligarchs in stealing our money and our time. Yeah I’m fucking cynical, mate.

Had one that let you accumulate one sick day per month, but if you didn’t use them they rolled over. First few years I didn’t use all of them, and then one year I used thirteen sick days in one year (most of them for kids home sick from school) and got lightly scolded for it in a performance review.

I wanted to say “Bitch why do you allow rollover at all if you don’t want us using more than we can possibly accumulate in one year?!” Looked it up in the contract and it said nothing at all about maximum sick days usable in a year. Of course if you have sick days left when you leave, they pay out at one third, but FUCK that, I earned that time, I’m not taking a one third payout. And they didn’t EVER give merit raises for those years I barely called out sick.

So the next year I took even MORE sick days, and afterwards made sure not to leave any unused, even if I wasn’t sick, because fuck them.

Happy beanniversary. The standard gift is beans.