Black Xanthus

It seems like a form of age-play.

Age-play is a kink where an adult enjoys some of the pleasures of being child-like. This may or may not be sexual.

However, what she’s doing is involving you in her play without your consent. That’s a big no-no in most kink-like relationships.

My advice is that you both do some research on reputable kink-sites around the nature of kink in general, and then (and only then) explore and read about age-play. I say this because like most kinks there’s a lot of missinformation out there.

Once you’ve done both done some reading, it’s time to open up a proper dialogue around this issue. Part of that dialog will have to be how important this is to both/either of you.

You may be able to ‘scene’ together- that is, have a defined start/end time to this kind of play. It may well be that there are other ways that your partner can fulfill this need, and hopefully your research will have helped you put together some of these. Not everything needs to be fulfilled by the partner. Or, you may find that you have clashing red-lines. That is, it’s something you can’t do, but something she needs, and you can’t find your own compromises.

At that point, you may need a kink-friendly couples therapist. A good one will help you work out how to make this work for you, and ask the equality important questions about what you need.

Do you research well, but do point out that all kink must be confidential.

However, unlike Reddit, there’s alternatives. You might not like the community on @lemmy.world, but you might like the community on @anotherlemmythatmight.exist.

Because of the federated nature, communities will naturally fracture and focus. Here, a bad faith mod will just kill a community on instance a, and people will move to instance b.

We’ve already seen things happen like this under the banner of ‘free speech’, where people believe that free speech means free from consequences. If you think that, there are plenty of instances out there. Lemmy.world isn’t one of them.

This means that you can find your favourite community in places with different server rules. Which means it will be the community - the people, the mods, the knowledge, that grows one, not just the fact the names taken.

Why do big companies always mark you as spam, and why is it always Hotmail?

My experience is that I have to remove myself from spamhouse once every couple of months, because Hotmail decided that my 5 emails to different accounts was spam. TBF, it’s better than silently failing which is annoying as hell.

The problem with email is the same is always been: antiquated software.

The email protocol was never designed for an internet with bad actors and bots. It’s from the early hopeful days. We absolutely need a better email system - however, it’s simple use, the fact anyone can run one, it’s simplicity, is what made it so useful.

The difference with Lemmy(et. al.) Is that the protocol is designed in the modern age, and isn’t required to also keep up with bad actors for legacy reasons. If Meta decide to join and fill it full of bad actors, Lemmy has a choice email never had. Lemmy can choose to add verification, peer-conversation, trust keys.

It however still has the same basic problem: to be useful for everyone, it has to work with everyone. The discussions and decisions about how that happen are not just technological, but also moral and ideal-based.

Meta, then, in this context, is the first spam email server. How Lemmy/the community/etc respond will be the challenge.

I have to say that I totally agree with the notion of looking for something that isn’t. ‘digital sugar rush’.

I enjoyed the deeper and harder discussions around politics, theology and philosophy. However, I only ever posted when I had something to add to the conversation as a lot of the subs I was in were modded by experts, and I’m at best an interested layperson.

I think for the moment at least, I need to brave commenting more. I guess we will have to so is we can attract the same experts to this platform, and get the same level of discussion.