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Cake day: July 13th, 2024

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  • In an ancient time a young boy discovering the true capabilities of his mother’s laptop decided to save a relic for later use by printing it. No matter how many times he pressed the print command the printer did not respond.

    The next day his mother returned from the office with an exasperated expression and a red swollen complexion claiming a hacker had caused her computer to print so. So much porn.









  • I now perceive the world in 40 foot radiuses. When I walk into a room I immediately assess the potential xp gain of a fireball. When I choose a table at a restaurant I ensure that I am outside the blast radius of the point any logical wizard would target. When planning my wedding I ensured there would be a counter spell prepared by every member of the wedding party (I distributed enchanted flasks to the martial classes.) My home is a series of right angled hallways and all bedrooms are only accessible by ladder.