You have to search using language that papers might actually use though. “Parachute effectiveness” means what the satirical paper is exploring, whether it prevents death or not. The only serious studies that might have used that language would be old WW2 studies that threw people out of planes with different parachutes to see how many survived.
If you want to know how to design an effective parachute, you should be looking at reference books like Parachute Recovery Systems instead.
The sweetest thing in nature is honey, nearly pure sugar that doesn’t spoil. Honey tends to be available year round in Africa where our taste buds evolved.