Sports are completely not interesting to me, so gambling would be maybe the only option to get me thrill from this

literally me

Have Pope Leo approved?

I think you can merely describe or model the foam, the liquid, etc., not understand as it is

Relatable lol

I do not watch much pornograpy, but this chart encouraged me to do so to distance from Americans more

I’ve heard it’s not our environment that defines us, but our reaction to it.

I am not saying this is untrue, rather improbable. I believe we are products of our environment with some (small) freedom to behave differently – most people born in disfunctional environment would not achieve their full potential and exceptions are just a small fraction.

Let me add, what might be useful for you, that I think that in dealing with depressive thought the physical health or conditions are very important. While exercising did very little help to me, when the spring came and the short, cold winter days ended I stopped to have suicidal thoughts and most my days are relatively positive. Maybe my ‘optimistic self deception’ programme is successful because of that? Or the succes might be a purely psychological cause as well, I don’t know. I even thought that my good mood is unreasonable, given all the evil in the world. But I told myself to not look for reasons to not embrace these moment of joy, I just fucking need them (even if that would be dishonest to the more objective reality).

In summary, the only attitude which seems both honest but not totally depressing to me is acknowledge all the cruelty of the world, but at the same moment to keep a set of positive thoughts to the degree of self deception (e.g. that we have a bright future). These two seems contradictory, but in a dialectic or for Hegel it is common and still produces a sensible output. For some people it might help to share their thoughts or do some actions like supporting UNICEF, volunteer, or having YT channel enhancing class consciousness or highlighting injustice (this not work very much for me and people who do it frequently have doubts, but the more I respect their work).

Or else you can resign yourself to a depressing existence with the only thing you ever look forward to is the end of it.

This summarizes my mood in the recent years pretty well.

I still believe that – in the objective sense – we have very limited control and leverages in our life compared to the rich elites and as individuals we have negligible power to counter the horrors as genocides, climate collapse or lunatics like Trump or other neoliberals. However, subjectively, I am trying to think more optimistically, along the arguments you wrote, but nevertheless I still have noted in the back of my mind that this might be just useful, pragmatic self deception calculated to make the life more pleasant.

I actually like the gambling metaphor. Your opponents (billionaires, corporations, renters, etc.) have a strong hand and after check they will always win. I admit that we have some freedom to operate with our cards, but in practice it is often just enough to survive and have just as much resources as to be useful to the company you work in.

This is my hypothetical wish for the sake of argument – an example of a common dream which is plainly unrealistic. Personally I do not have such consumerist whims.

Wish that be true. For some people this might be more true, but for less fortunate certainty it isn’t.

To achieve nothing or a shadow of a substitute of the goal? I wish a house with a swimming pool, and I come from a lower class, do you really think it is achievable for someone earning lower than mediocre salary?

I didn’t have to worry that someone would call me at a random moment and will assign me some random task.

Our destiny is controlled mostly by factors others than our thoughts or actions

A good point

Thanks for care, but no need – I am just into femdom.

Good idea 👍🏻

If I would be her cuck, I would calmly and humbly wait for a pleasure to talk to her.

To answer the first question, I need to try the FOSS alternative. To the second matter, it seems that the choice will not affect others so far. Anyway, thanks!

Actually I have some freedom to choose, including the relative expensive proprietary software. So in the essence my choice is rather moral one than obligatory.