Nature’s dumbest, most disgusting and loveable vacuum cleaner.

This is the only correct answer here. If you wouldn’t have posted it I would have.

Oh noooooooo

Listen, I like the idea of some blussy as much as the next guy, but not enough to go get my tailgate wrapped.

Play to your strengths, Lauren. Maybe it’s time to drop the sad quasipolitical angle and just go pro.

I had to go demonstrate what you’re saying, and yes, 100% possible, but impressively bad situational awareness for sure. The science has been done, thank you for this hypothesis.

So real talk, was this guy trying to wipe with his pants UP? I’m desperately trying to figure out how you’d do this unintentionally.

By that logic, why does 535 look like more than 3/4s of 3397? Because it’s not the easiest to show the accurate scale of 3397 versus 535 on an infographic and not have to figure out how to display a 12000x1500 pixel image in such a way you can still read it. It’s not a conspiracy, just lame formatting. Chill.

He really do got that 😐️

Something of a shoot high, aim low type situation, if you catch my drift.

“I have a new husband and his name is Chance XL”

You have no idea what time it is when shot rings out from the far corner of your old one-room shack, but you know it’s late. Adrenaline surging and ears ringing, you grab the old Colt revolver that sits on the stool beside your straw bed, thinking maybe those cattle rustlers the neighbors had been telling you about have finally got desperate enough to make a move on the property. Your bare feet hit the rough-hewn wood floor and you stumble as quickly as you can to the window, its little glass panes wavy and revealing nothing more than inky blackness. You’re sure you heard the shot, but there’s no signs of life outside save for the crickets that have resumed their song after only a few seconds intermission. You swear you can even smell the gunpowder smoke, but maybe it’s your mind playing tricks on you, forcing alertness in the deep, lonely night. The adrenaline begins to wear, your limbs starting to ache as they long to go back to their fully interrupted sleep. You take a step to the left to turn from the window and you hear a sickening squelch and feel something squish between your toes that freezes you in your tracks. In the dim light given off by the fire smoldering in the cast-iron stove in the corner, you can tell that whatever it is is an ugly shade of red.

After a minute of silent contemplation, your brain puts it all together and your face quietly contorts into the most violent grimace it can muster. The goddamn trap that bastard salesman outside the general store had sold you down the river on the day before. The one that’d use your spare pistol. Well, he was right, it had worked. Now that rat that had eaten a hole in the corner of your bag of sugar decorates a small section of the wall, the floor, and the bottom of your foot and there’s a warm black crater in the floorboard where it had made its last stand. Hobbling, you traipse outside to wipe your foot in the grass. Right there, you know what you must do. No matter what else, you’re sure that bastard salesman won’t be selling any more of those goddamn traps.

For me, it was kind of like taking off a pair of sunglasses you forgot you were wearing. Faith tends to put a tint on everything that after a while just becomes normal until you take off the glasses and see what the world actually looks like and you realize the sky IS blue and the grass IS green.

I was born into a religious family and on the outskirts of any serious involvement with a church…I never really “felt” anything as a kid or ever later despite summer camps and bible school, so it was just this weekly burden and this unnecessary layer of thought to wade through in everything I did, so when I started working my way out of religion it was a massive weight off my shoulders.

I still consciously do good where I can, still give to others in need, etc…I still try to be as kind and empathetic to people as I can regardless of their beliefs, but now with the knowledge that I’m doing it just because it’s what I believe is right to do, not because it’s tied to a rule book.

Imagine believing in a guy who allegedly told as many people as he could to spread tolerance and acceptance for literally everyone, then going and preaching the exact opposite while saying they’re doing it because he said so. Incredible.