NGL, that’s the gentlest he could’ve put it. Had he even hinted at the options he and the wife had already greenlit for their coital catalog with zero risk of conception, those two cringe teens would’ve wept — to say nothing of what’s invariably “in discussion” for the couple’s future escapades.
Condoms prevent more than minivans.
Because I wouldnt settle for a blowjob.
Because your mum said no to anal.
Because your mum is a stone cold freak.
Because the swingers parties got out of hand.
Because our bull doesnt like condoms.
Because I spent the abortion money on strippers.
Because I was too lazy to have a wank.
And finally.
Apologise and be nice to each other or Ill go dump one in your mother right now and see if I can get you a baby brother.
I prefer “push” vs “dump” for the added omgnoooo 🤣