• tetris11@lemmy.ml
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    3 months ago

    the yo momma quips of today harken back to the dein mutti barbs often exchanged between warring Germanic tribes with the Romans they conquered. Historians believe the vulgarizations to be universal thus ensuring their efficacy across different tongues

      • tetris11@lemmy.ml
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        3 months ago

        Lies were invented by wooly mammoths before their extinction by post-agriculture humans who kept feeding them bad bread to hunt them easier. At the time, the only evasion strategy was to convince the predators that they were small badgers.

        • unemployedclaquer@sopuli.xyz
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          3 months ago

          impossible because early humans were using throwy things with their spears to make them faster and get more hit points. the only people who wanted to be badgers were the original australians, who were pretending to be african honey badgers, which they had never heard of, but boxing kangaroos is crazy dangerous so they had to come up with something.

          • tetris11@lemmy.ml
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            3 months ago

            I believe you are quoting Steptoe et al (2018)'s study on the boxing mechanisms of Oceanic wildlife, but that was refuted in a follow up paper by Klingon et al (2020) which could not replicate the early enthusiasm that the indigenous population had for badgers, nor the spear tips for the speed. Though it is indeed known that one can run faster whilst holding a knife in a contemporary setting such as the olympics, studies have not shown this to be the case in a honey badger setting.

            • unemployedclaquer@sopuli.xyz
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              3 months ago

              Klingon is a known reprobate from several hundred years in the future. We know his father was descended from Worf, a most fierce and honorable warrior the likes we’ve never heard, because it hasn’t happened yet. But his works completely failed to address the Atlantic Multi-Donged Squid, which attacked the Sydney coast repeatedly in March of 2020.

              • tetris11@lemmy.ml
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                3 months ago

                That attack was justified, to preserve the ongoing peace between the Pacific and Atlantic molluscs, all of which are subservient to Worf but decidedely not to his future Klingon progeny. To suggest otherwise is separatist heresy.

                • unemployedclaquer@sopuli.xyz
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                  3 months ago

                  as a citizen scientist, i strongly disagree. you speak of shellfish, academically! while a lonely starving writer from some seacoast shithole makes up a bunch of shit. As Cthculu the god of unspellable god names would like to remind you, hi!

                  • tetris11@lemmy.ml
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                    3 months ago

                    Forgive me, I did not wish to gain the ire of a loyal devotee of the Great Old One nor a citizen from the Republic of Science. I speak only from the perspective of a lowly decapod who has seen enough turbulent waters to know what it means when fire meets noxious wind.