"You’re being sarcastic, but really:

-Balanced? One headline per worldview, what could be more fair?

-Reliable? Mainstream Media covering up the atrocities of those in power? That’s exactly what I expect from them and they do not disappoint!

-Fact-based? You can see it in action here! They start with a fact to base their story on, then corrupt it irrevocably with journalistic tricks and sophistry until it misrepresents reality entirely

So I think someone should apologize to media bias chart…"