I kinda wanna know about my parents past but I feel awkward asking. They love to interject and add phrases like “look how much worse our lives are and how much we sacrificed for you, you have to be grateful”, which just makes me feel bad for asking, but like… I just want the raw story, and that’s it.
(Idk when is the right time to ask, but hopefully I manage to get those stories before they die, it’d be a shame to lose that part of history.)
My father is a bi-polar narcissist and my mother is a bizarre kind of broken because of it. I fled home at 16 yo and looked back a few times, though I wish I didn’t. The few time I had a chance to ask questions about their past, the stories always changed.
It all broke down during the pandemic when they went full blown rightwing conspiracy theorists and science deniers trying to guilt me into letting them near my (then) newborn. At one point one of their “FBI friends” told them COVID was a hoax. We don’t have FBI friends.
With all that said… fuck em. My curiosity of the past doesn’t exceed how much it distresses me to be around them. My chosen family and I are looking towards the future.
In your case I would just stick to the facts and get medical history. That’s the one thing I wish I got before calling it quits.
Damn, sorry to hear about that, now I’m starting to realize just how much more fcked up the scale of “good parent” vs “bad parent” is, mine are shitty, but far from the worst, so in a way I kinda lucked out. My parents aren’t that crazy, thank goodness, and I still have good memories of them, just kinda relationship-wise detached because of life circumstances. Basically, the older I got, the more school stuff kinda drained my energy, depression slowly built up, parents busy with their small bussiness… so eventually relationship just kinda silently fell apart, with the occasional “parents yelling at me out of frustration” sprinkled on top, clock hasn’t stuck midnight yet, hasn’t gone nuclear, still sort of a “cold war” in terms of relationship.
Damn, the “FBI Friends” is wild, again, sorry to remind you of that again.
No need to apologize at all! I like to use my story to help others realize they can flee a toxic relationship anytime they want and shouldn’t feel beholden to anyone including those who “brought you into this world”. God I hate that line so much, especially when it’s followed by “…and I can take you out of it too.”
I hope you find what you’re looking for. Best of luck, friend.