(i know this is an exchange between some of the worst people of the internet)

  • canofcam@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    I have plenty of conversations with transphobic family members and there seems to be a lot of this misunderstanding going around.

    There seems to be this belief that trans people are all biological men trying to impose on women’s spaces, whether that’s saying that a man can have a period, or saying that a trans woman can compete in women’s sports.

    It’s an interesting Schrödinger’s cat type phenonomenon - a trans woman cannot use a woman’s toilet, so that means that a trans man (who is indistinguishable from a cis male) SHOULD use women’s toilets, which is problematic.

    All of these transphobic beliefs seem to erase the existence of trans men, they only take cis men into account. So saying, “A biological male cannot give birth” is, 99% of the time, accurate. But that isn’t what saying, “a man can give birth” means exactly, it’s a more nuanced statement that supports the existence of trans men. “Boys” can have periods, because trans boys exist.

    If it is common / possible for biological men to give birth, I’m not aware of that so I can’t comment on it, but I do believe that 9/10 transphobia stems from misunderstanding what you’re actually talking about. Otherwise I can’t see why people would be continuously so hateful to something that is so harmless to anybody who isn’t trans.

    • Trainguyrom@reddthat.com
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      2 days ago

      a man can have a period

      I assume based on context that this is a typo and you meant can’t.

      I recently learned that holy shit trans women despite most likely not having a uterus, start experiencing periods once they’re far enough along with HRT. Like full on period cramps, moodiness and everything!

      • canofcam@lemmy.world
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        2 days ago

        No no, it wasn’t a typo. I meant it as an example of things which make headlines nowadays.

        A school said, “Men can have periods” the world is going mad!

        Some people believe this is somehow erasing biological women, when usually somebody making that statement are actually talking about biological women who happen to be trans men (which can be and should be referred to as men - which is what I did).

    • Twongo [she/her]@lemmy.mlOP
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      2 days ago

      he gets 1 empathy point from me because it was lowkey funny that he called david rockefeller a “good man” and great american

  • Taleya@aussie.zone
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    2 days ago

    Just checked, I can’t either.

    Pick a definition that doesn’t exclude cis. Go on. I fucking dare you.

  • sepi@piefed.social
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    3 days ago

    Some very very strong men checked very hard for a couple of hours, but nothing! It’s a mystery!

    • ameancow@lemmy.world
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      2 days ago

      We have made the same mistake over and over again when dealing with conservatives, which is the assumption that they give a micron of a shit about definitions and facts.

      They are not living in a fact-based world, and we resent them for that because they are benefitting from the science, facts and reason that has build the world they cherish.

      But we can make far more effective arguments if we meet them on an emotional level in these debates. I’ve seen more progress made in debates by progressives asking them what they would do if their own son or daughter was gay or trans than all the graphs and statistics in the world.

      Or at the very least, call them heartless, weird, child-hating, freedom-hating, etc.

      • 5too@lemmy.world
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        2 days ago

        I don’t disagree, just pointing out - engaging them on an emotional level (in a different way) is exactly what happened in OP.

      • isyasad@lemmy.world
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        2 days ago

        I know you are /s but I will respond /srs.
        The fact that people in support of trans rights often can’t give a satisfying definition of “woman” is certainly not very problematic or even important at all, but it’s a big sticking point for conservatives and it would be nice to have a real answer.

        I haven’t tried this on real people yet, but I think that you can use a simple comparison to show that they also can’t simply define identity words. For example, they probably can’t come up with a simple definition of “father” that includes/excludes all the right people. Pester them on this point. Is a sperm donor a father? Is a man who adopts children a father? Is any male caretaker a father? Is a father-in-law a father? Is a step-father a father? Is an absent father a father?
        If they end up with a very complicated & unintuitive flowchart definition, ask them: when someone says “as a father, this concerns me” or “I’m not a good father”, what do they actually mean? Are they referring to your definition? or to a vaguely-defined identity that’s really based in feelings and values?
        This really easily transitions into talking about gender because then you can ask them to explain what people mean when they say “man up” or “be a man”. Nobody says those things to mean “be a penised adult human”, it’s obviously about feelings and values.

        • Bgugi@lemmy.world
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          2 days ago

          The real strength of the “what is a woman” argument is that theres no answer that puts you ahead. If you draw a line, you get absolutely creamed for being some bigoted transphobe, if you take an open stance now you’re against women. If you say you can have your cake and eat it too you’re ridiculed for the inconsistency.

    • jaselle@lemmy.ca
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      3 days ago

      I’m interested to read about this, please link to some more information.

      Edit: found some, it’s not hard to search online for it.

    • Tonava@sopuli.xyz
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      2 days ago

      And a lot of transmen have also, even after being on hormone treatment for a while, thus looking just like cismen at a glance. Put them in women’s toilets, hmm, no?? What’s the problem, I thought only genetics mattered?? Like the very important genes that dictate that only women can wear dresses???

      Hmm, if only there was the possibility of no strict binaries actually existing considering biological sex and social expressions of gender varying wildly even between cultures, but alas!

  • Credibly_Human@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    The funny thing about this is transmasc people actually cant get pregnant, so in a way, they’re unintentionally right (of course many asterisks as this depends a lot on a lot).

  • Rentlar@lemmy.ca
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    3 days ago

    It would also be funny if a furry pfp account were replying to preggerU.