“Okay but how would you react if I killed myself? Because, like, it’s come up a lot recently. I’m looking for ways out of this, and I’m trying everything, and that feels a lot more appealing than most of the options I’m looking at that I haven’t tried like ten times this month. The isolation is really getting to me. I’m not okay.”
“I guess I would wish you had reached out, said something.”
“I have been reaching out and begging to do something, anything, all year. Let me make this explicit: I am desperate, I am Not Okay, and I need people in my life. I could use practical help, I could use human companionship, I need everything and I’d be grateful for any of it.”
“What can I do?”
“At least one of: help me find a place to live, do a book club with me, throw money at my problems, play a video game with me, send me cookies or something. Those are my top ideas, but other stuff would work too.”
3 months ago
“Hello?”
1 month ago
“Mom¹? I know you’re not dead. You’re still posting on LinkedIn². This has read reciepts.”
That was a fun few years.
¹titles changed for legibility. Not with my mother, but general idea.
“Okay but how would you react if I killed myself? Because, like, it’s come up a lot recently. I’m looking for ways out of this, and I’m trying everything, and that feels a lot more appealing than most of the options I’m looking at that I haven’t tried like ten times this month. The isolation is really getting to me. I’m not okay.”
“I guess I would wish you had reached out, said something.”
“I have been reaching out and begging to do something, anything, all year. Let me make this explicit: I am desperate, I am Not Okay, and I need people in my life. I could use practical help, I could use human companionship, I need everything and I’d be grateful for any of it.”
“What can I do?”
“At least one of: help me find a place to live, do a book club with me, throw money at my problems, play a video game with me, send me cookies or something. Those are my top ideas, but other stuff would work too.”
3 months ago
“Hello?”
1 month ago
“Mom¹? I know you’re not dead. You’re still posting on LinkedIn². This has read reciepts.”
That was a fun few years.
¹titles changed for legibility. Not with my mother, but general idea.
²not linkedin.