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☆ Yσɠƚԋσʂ ☆@lemmygrad.ml to news@hexbear.netEnglish · 4 days ago

Truck hauling ‘aggressive’ monkeys thought to carry hepatitis C, herpes and Covid overturns in Mississippi with at least one on the loose

www.independent.co.uk

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Truck hauling ‘aggressive’ monkeys thought to carry hepatitis C, herpes and Covid overturns in Mississippi with at least one on the loose

www.independent.co.uk

☆ Yσɠƚԋσʂ ☆@lemmygrad.ml to news@hexbear.netEnglish · 4 days ago
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Crews still searching for three escaped lab monkeys in Mississippi
www.independent.co.uk
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The truck carrying Rehsus monkeys from Tulane University in New Orleans crashed on Interstate 59
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  • duderium [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    3 days ago

    There is a movie with this premise called Outbreak with Dustin Hoffman. I recall it features hicks using pickup trucks to break through a quarantine in a small town started by lib scientists who lose track of an infected monkey. It’s unrealistic because it shows libs actually caring about the spread of disease.

    • nothx [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      3 days ago

      libs actually caring about the spread of disease.

      I assume there was no brunch involved, which could have made it more believable.

  • came_apart_at_Kmart [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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    3 days ago

    “One of them is still unaccounted for, sir.”
    “Don’t tell me.”
    “91-NPLN.”
    Napoleon. “Fuck this,” Adams spat angrily, reaching for the red phone.

    “Sir, there’s something else. Initial reports indicate his enclosure was opened from the inside, the voltage mechanism jammed with a shaped fragment of human tooth.”

    Compulsively, Colonel Adams tongued the hole where his upper left canine used to be.

    “… and it happened 9 minutes before the driver lost control,” the adjutant finished.
    Something iron and strong went soft and sour in the colonel’s stomach. Do not show panic.

    “Initiate containment protocols. Full spectrum. Operation Midnight is ordered.”

  • Hexamerous [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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    3 days ago

    “All but one of the escaped monkeys have been destroyed.”

    Operator-speak.

  • ☆ Yσɠƚԋσʂ ☆@lemmygrad.mlOP
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    3 days ago

    this is how zombie movies start

  • NewDark [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    3 days ago

    This feels like a bit

    • tactical_trans_karen [she/her, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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      3 days ago

      Buddy, the US is a bit.

  • Red_October [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    3 days ago

    Comrade Chimp starts Spanish Flu 2 just before the U.S. invasion of Venezuela.

    Go monkey go!

    • nothx [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      3 days ago

      Venezuela Flu*

  • tombruzzo [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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    3 days ago

    Why is it always these trucks that tip over? Or is it you only hear about these trucks from the thousands that tip over in the US everyday?

    • NephewAlphaBravo [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      3 days ago

      trucks tip over and spill shit all the time, so much that it’s just not news unless they spill something scary or funny

  • john_browns_beard [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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    3 days ago

    “Sir! We got another order for plague monkeys, did you remember to loosen the lug nuts on the trailer?”

  • neonchaos@lemmy.ml
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    3 days ago

    Motaba Virus anyone? Or just COVID Pt. II: Electric Boogaloo?

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