Currently working on an Arch server for my self hosting needs. I love arch, in my eyes its the perfect platform for self hosting. There is no bloat, making it lightweight and resource efficient. Its also very stable if you go down the lts route and have the time and skills to head off problems before they become catastrophic.
The downsides. For someone who is a semi-noob there is a very steep learning curve. Arch is very well documented but when you hit a problem or a brick wall its very frustrating. My low tolerence for bullshit means I take hours/days long breaks from it. There’s also time demands in the real world so needless to say I’ve been going at it for a few weeks now.
Unraid is very appealing - nice clean interface, out-of-the-box solutions for whatever you want to do, easy NAS management… What’s not to like? If it was fully open-source I would’ve bought into it from the start. At least once a day I think “I’m done. Sign me up unraid”. Its taking an age to set up the Arch server. If I went for unraid I could be self hosting in a matter of hours. Unraid is the antitheses of Arch. Arch is for masochists.
Do you ever look at products like unraid and think “fuck this shit, gimme some of that”? What is your version of this? Have you ever actually done it and regretted it/lived happily ever after?
I’ve never tried Arch but my debian server with kvm/qemu/cockpit running mdraid1 and smb/nfs file sharing - works well enough and I enjoy the tinkering and setting it all up. I’m writing this from a virtual Fedora KDE workstation that I’ve setup vfio and pcie passthrough of my dgpu and a usb controller on (both connected to my monitor that acts as a usb hub).
A friend runs a Proxmox VE Community Edition with physical disk passthrough to a virtual Nextcloud server and that seems to work well too.
I guess my answer is no, I don’t look at UnRAID and think “fuck this shit I’m done”, I enjoy the tinkering that makes you frustrated.
May I ask what kind of brick walls you’re hitting and what software you run on Arch that makes it so frustrating?
I actually gave Debian a go and I get the hype. Compared to Arch its a dream to set up and work with. Somewhere down the road I might go back to it.
Proxmox - it looks great but I think its overkill for what I need. I can run most things in Docker - I don’t really need virtualization. At some point in the future I’d like to try it and have TrueNAS virtualized on top to manage the NAS side of things.
There’s not really particular thing (or things) that are insurmountable/unbearable with Arch. Its more the experience. But I love it and hate it in equal measure ha.
What I like about running a hypervisor and true vms is that I can fool around with some vms in my server without risk of disrupting the others.

I run most of my dockers in one VM, my game servers in another and the Jellyfin instance on a third. That allows me to fool around with my portainer instance or game servers without disrupting Jellyfin and so on.
Part of it is that I’m more used to and comfortable in managing vms and their backup/recovery compared to LXCs and Dockers.
Im running a similar setup (ZFS pool, Cockpit, portainer x2, and a few LXCs for Plex, Frigate, etc) and it’s been great. Before building it early this year, I’d been running everything on Windows for the decade prior because I was unfamiliar with Linux and struggled like OP when problems arose, but after following a guide to get everything setup it’s been rock solid and if I screw anything up I can just load a backup. I’d also looked into TrueNAS and Unraid but this gives me a more flexible setup without any extra cost and the ability to tinker without affecting anything else like you said.