… we never say the first rule of patriarchy out loud.

  • Seleni@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    And boy are there great examples of those men on Lemmy. Sigh. That one post about women and dating vs solitude really brought the slime out of the woodwork.

    And all the comments on it about ‘I showed emotion once and my girl dumped me, so obviously all women are lying about wanting sensitive men!’

    Like, first off, you were obviously dating an asshole. My man has cried in front of me and I thought all the better of him for it.

    But also, concerning women being assholes like that; the patriarchy gets internalized by women too. They can exhibit its toxic behaviors just like men can. That’s not the cue to blame women; it’s the cue to blame the patriarchy.

    • ZDL@lazysoci.alOP
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      1 day ago

      ‘I showed emotion once and my girl dumped me, so obviously all women are lying about wanting sensitive men!’

      There’s a few observations that leap to mind when I hear stories like this.

      1. Very on-the-nose, these are. In the “cool story, bro, that absolutely did happen like your girlfriend in Canada is real” vein.
      2. Let’s rewrite that sentence in another context to see how idiotic it is. “I tried having fun once, but didn’t like it, so obviously all fun is a scam.” This is the kind of stupidity that comes when you think of an entire gender as a monolithic group. (The same applies to race.)
      3. “Showing emotion” is very … vague. Rage is an emotion too… When people vaguebook like that, I get very suspicious like I get suspicious about the “nice guy” assertions that they’re never anything but perfectly polite and reasonable with women and yet women never give them the time of day.
    • ZDL@lazysoci.alOP
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      1 day ago

      Well, yeah. Everybody knows that nothing dries us up faster than well-adjusted, thoughtful, respectful men!

  • chuckleslord@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    I mean, sure, but reactionary movements always try to point the blame at the movement they’re reacting to. It’s not something unique to feminism or the patriarchy.

    Edit: Ah! My bad. I will respect this communities from here on

    • foxglove (she/her)@lazysoci.alM
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      2 days ago

      hi chuckleslord thanks for your comment but this community is women-only and has a rule that only women are permitted to comment or post, so please don’t comment further. Hope you understand 💛

        • ZDL@lazysoci.alOP
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          1 day ago

          I should have also mentioned the demise of the National Action Committee in Canada, once a huge and powerful voice for women and feminism in Canada but torn apart from within by infighting and, specifically, by the upper middle class white women ignoring what black and, even worse, native women were saying about their experience.

          Trigger warning for SA references and worse

          White women worried about salaries and getting their asses smacked in the workplace.

          Native women worried about getting raped by family members and then murdered. (Don’t believe the first part? Read Tanya Tagaq’s book. Just have a lot of tissues on standby.

          It began in 1971 and by the mid-80s had 700 women’s groups under its umbrella making it by far the single largest lobbying group in Canada on behalf of women. But the aforementioned issues started to arise and the NAC tore itself apart from within as black women and native women brought up their own issues and were dismissed while the white upper middle class women circled the wagons against any and all critique.

          This weakened them as a force so thoroughly that the Conservative government of Brian Mulroney thought (correctly) it could drop federal funding of the NAC without facing pushback, leading it to scale back its activities drastically to the point of irrelevance. It was finally mercifully put out of its organizational misery in 2007 with its formal dissolution, but it had long before that been a non-issue.

          That was very much a case of women attacking each other while the patriarchy looked on with glee.

      • foxglove (she/her)@lazysoci.alM
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        2 days ago

        hi theUwUhugger, thanks for your comment but this community is women-only and has a rule that only women are permitted to comment or post, so please don’t comment further. Hope you understand 💛

    • foxglove (she/her)@lazysoci.alM
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      2 days ago

      hi Professorozone, thanks for your comment but this community is women-only and has a rule that only women are permitted to comment or post, so please don’t comment further. Hope you understand 💛