• Apytele@sh.itjust.works
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        14
        arrow-down
        2
        ·
        edit-2
        5 days ago

        Yeah when they fixate on sex it generally results in a bunch of behaviors and personality traits that make them unpleasant to be around and often make other people (particularly women) dislike or even fear the idea of sex with them.

        I also honestly think a lot of it comes down to homophobia. I think there’s a lot of closeted or Kinsey 3+ bi men that are prevented from being happy with a male partner and even more importantly it keeps straight men from pursuing platonically fulfilling emotional intimacy from other men. I often deal with sexual transference behaviors out of male patients (when I try to help them emotionally they develop sexual attraction) and it can be difficult to both find a male staff member to model appropriate nonsexual emotional intimacy to them and to get the patient to accept the healthier experience / teaching.

        TLDR there’s a lot of things I would like to do to help solve the male loneliness epidemic because it’s a very real thing but I’m AFAB and NB at best and 90% of the work needs to be done by men helping other men, so I’m functionally helpless to do so.

    • merc@sh.itjust.works
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      1
      ·
      4 days ago

      The irony is that there’s a chance it might be true.

      Sex doesn’t necessarily mean very much. But, they’ve convinced themselves it’s massively important. Being a virgin defines them, and it’s proof that their life is a failure. If they can lose their virginity, they might be able to convince themselves that they’re now in a new category. If they can get away from the various toxic influences, maybe they can become more likeable people, and be less lonely as a result.