Pretending it doesn’t exist is harmful, even if that autonomy is being used to hurt people.

What? What is this “pretending”? What do you think we’re talking about? And what makes pretending Israel isn’t a state, if that’s what you understood being said, harmful?

I’d rather see them abolished

That’s what we’re talking about. Let’s abolish Israel, and create a new state for all the people, historically we’d call that Palestine, but I’m okay with coming up with a new name.