I wonder if there are more assholes than normal people, so that it only seems that assholes are more successful in dating because there are simply more of them.
It can work by sampling biases. Let’s say you have a hundred marbles, 99 blue, 1 orange, each has a number on it. Each day you pull out 5, if it’s blue you roll a d20 and on a 20 you keep it out for 1d20 turns. If it’s orange you put it back without rolling, but you have to do a push up.
It will feel like there’s way more orange than any individual blue. Why? The orange is more noticeable at a glance, it changes the interaction from routine, and the blue marbles have a chance to leave the bag for a few turns and so once it’s gotten going the bag often has more than 1% orange in it.
The default on tinder is swipe, no match, but if match no conversation, but if conversation it goes nowhere, but if it goes somewhere it doesn’t lead to a date, at which point if it does lead to a date suddenly you’re thinking of this person as out of ths ordinary and may be remembered. Maybe a relationship happens which removes you both from the pool for an indeterminate amount of time
Assholes are noticeable, they’re memorable, and they’re already a few steps in. Then when they do enter a relationship it’s likely to be on the shorter end because they just kinda suck, so they go back into the pool faster.
If there are more arseholes than non-arseholes, then the arseholes are the ‘normal’ people. That’s why I stay inside. I’m also trying reconcile with myself the possibility that I’m also an arsehole, just the wrong sort of arsehole.
I wonder if there are more assholes than normal people, so that it only seems that assholes are more successful in dating because there are simply more of them.
It can work by sampling biases. Let’s say you have a hundred marbles, 99 blue, 1 orange, each has a number on it. Each day you pull out 5, if it’s blue you roll a d20 and on a 20 you keep it out for 1d20 turns. If it’s orange you put it back without rolling, but you have to do a push up.
It will feel like there’s way more orange than any individual blue. Why? The orange is more noticeable at a glance, it changes the interaction from routine, and the blue marbles have a chance to leave the bag for a few turns and so once it’s gotten going the bag often has more than 1% orange in it.
The default on tinder is swipe, no match, but if match no conversation, but if conversation it goes nowhere, but if it goes somewhere it doesn’t lead to a date, at which point if it does lead to a date suddenly you’re thinking of this person as out of ths ordinary and may be remembered. Maybe a relationship happens which removes you both from the pool for an indeterminate amount of time
Assholes are noticeable, they’re memorable, and they’re already a few steps in. Then when they do enter a relationship it’s likely to be on the shorter end because they just kinda suck, so they go back into the pool faster.
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If there are more arseholes than non-arseholes, then the arseholes are the ‘normal’ people. That’s why I stay inside. I’m also trying reconcile with myself the possibility that I’m also an arsehole, just the wrong sort of arsehole.