Well let’s start off with just basic things like hobbies and interests. Let’s LaForge this. Computer: run speed dating simulation three gamma. Add a typical bachelorette, approximately 35 years old, American, with a personality, hobbies and interests typical of her demographics. Run program. Alright, I’m going to go strike up a conversation with her about the heavy modular frame production line I built in Satisfactory, we’ll see how she responds. I bet I’ll respond similarly to listening her talk about the pointless knickknacks she bought at a thrift store or yoga class or whatever.

Like, you should enjoy sitting on the couch and watching TV with your partner, right? Okay, I’m about to binge watch Clickspring’s clockmaking playlist again. That’s three solid hours of a guy building a clock from scratch out of plate brass. He stops to build a custom wheel depthing tool. He experiments with different lapping plates for polishing the heads of screws, spoiler: Tin is better than MDF. Find me a woman that would actually enjoy watching this with me any more than I would enjoy watching some drag queen show with her.

I’ve got maybe 40 years left on this planet, I’ve reserved not a second for pretending to care about antiquing or pilates class, I’m sure there are few women on the planet who are interested in, say, hand plane sharpening. So why bother each other?

Beyond that, my “Never putting up with that again” list has grown quite long. Shit like being called “non-communicative” by little miss “If you don’t know what’s wrong, I’m definitely not going to tell you.”

So…what’s there to like, exactly?