Hey all, hope everyone is doing well.
I’m curious if anyone out there has made a conscious decision to not date or be in a relationship anymore.
If so, what was your rationale? Do you feel it was the right decision? If you’re currently considering it, why?
I pretty much gave up on the whole thing. Im almost 40 and my last relationship ended when I was 28. I tried dating sites and whatnot for almost 10 years with VERY little success. I met about 6 people over that entire time, not that they were relationships or anything, just went on 6 dates in roughly 10 years. I don’t live in an ideal area to meet people my age locally and I’m not really like most people out here anyway so that never really bore any fruit. It was soul crushing to keep putting myself through all that so I just gave up and have convinced myself that I’ve been single for too long and wouldn’t be a good partner to anyone because of it.
It’s not what I wanted, but it’s better than feeling worthless every day trying to reach out to people on those sites. It just sucks that abandoning this also has the knock on affect of ensuring I’ll never own a home as 2 incomes minimum are pretty much mandatory to afford anything.
I hear you on the dating sites. I think I met a total of 5 people in real life from dating sites or apps. Meaning actual dates. I found it interesting that I met and talked to more women in foreign countries than in the US. However those conversations were usually short lived.
I understand about the location piece. I wouldn’t agree on the “… been single too long and wouldn’t make a good partner…” piece.
Just because you have been single for a while doesn’t mean you’re not capable of being a good partner. It’s always a 50/50 endeavor anyway. It’s not on you to carry the whole thing.
You shouldn’t feel worthless relative to those sites. That’s probably not a good mindset. We’re all aware now that they are designed to keep you engaged in the hope you keep spending money. I would ask you not use that as a measuring stick for who you are.
Thank you so much for putting this out there. I hope maybe you reconsider and give it one more shot!!
Dating sites have become toxic ad-filled hells. I spent years on there.
Couldn’t agree more!!
I hear you on the dating sites. I think I met a total of 5 people in real life from dating sites or apps. Meaning actual dates. I found it interesting that I met and talked to more women in foreign countries than in the US. However those conversations were usually short lived.
I understand about the location piece. I wouldn’t agree on the “… been single too long and wouldn’t make a good partner…” piece.
Just because you have been single for a while doesn’t mean you’re not capable of being a good partner. It’s always a 50/50 endeavor anyway. It’s not on you to carry the whole thing.
You shouldn’t feel worthless relative to those sites. That’s probably not a good mindset. We’re all aware now that they are designed to keep you engaged in the hope you keep spending money. I would ask you not use that as a measuring stick for who you are.
Thank you so much for putting this out there. I hope maybe you reconsider and give it one more shot!!
Cheating tears couples apart more than anything. And people cheat because they are not sexually satisfied.
Most couples are not sexually compatible forever, and cheating is common.
I don’t want to do that again. I’m good.